Sunday morning my son informed me of that our new babysitter is Pescatarian.
“You mean Presbyterian?”
“No Pesc,” Jake corrected
“Well, it’s actually Presbyterian,” I said trying to right his wrong. Unlike when he was little and I found total amusement in his mispronunciation of words. So much so, that I would repeat them back to him in the wrong way that he would say them. Do you wanna look at your self in the “mirriour,” or type on Mommy’s “computue?” Look, for nearly a decade I referred to grapes a “bops”
“Mom you’re wrong, she said Pesc,” he insisted
“Ok Jake, Pescatarian.” Yep, now I just give in out of “fustration,” I mean frustration. Sorry, old habits die hard.
“How do you know that she’s Pescatarian, did you ask?” I questioned uncomfortable with the idea of him asking her about religion.
“No, I didn’t ask, she told me.”
“Was she asking YOU?” I questioned, now worried that she was also having him read pamphlets or asking for a donation or that Pescatarianism is some cult off shoot. (Religion seems like a heavy discussion to have with a 9 year old unprovoked.)
“She was wearing a shirt that said Vegetarian,” he said, as if that were enough information to answer my question.
“Jake that doesn’t help me here. How does her Vegetarian shirt relate to the story?”
“Well, I asked if she was a vegetarian and she said no, I’m a Pescatarian.
“Presb”
“Pesc”
“That doesn’t make sense Jake, Vegetarianism is not a religion. I don’t know much about this Pescatarianism, but I don’t think they’re mutually exclusive.”
“Could a vegetarian eat a pescatarian?”
Wow that was an unexpected turn in the conversation, I bet you didn’t see that coming either… and you thought my cult theory was soooo off base.
“Umm, no. Because Pescatarians, are still meat… I would assume.” I hate to give out incorrect information.
At this point I was slightly concerned about the origin of his question, “Did she happen to tell you she was a cannibal?”
“No,” he responded as if that was a normal thing to ask.
“Did she look at any of your babyfat while licking her lips, tying a napkin around her neck or sharpening cutlery?”
“No.”
“Well that’s good.”
I think that conversation went well.
PS- here’s a picture of our new sitter, Lilly. She was teaching drums at a local Music school. She seems nice enough, right? Best of all, she’s available Saturday nights.
A good Saturday night babysitter is hard to find
In an unexpected turn of events a reader let me know that a Pescatarian is a vegetarian who includes fish in their diet. Umm, Nevermind.
Omg I love the image of the wolf from cartoons sharpening utensils and tying a cloth napkin!
I’m changing the word to utensil, that’s exactly what I was going for… I love that you got it. If only others would get my jokes sooo easily.
You are a sick sick person and I highly enjoy that about you. You also speak the truth. Sat night sitters are a treasure even of they may end up eating your children.
Well said Leslie. Kiki can I get her number?
My sat sitter is 74 balding and has a snuggle tooth, but she’s never unavailable. Gotta love her.
You had me on the floor with the visuals and then I saw the pic lmao.
Is it better to have a sitter who is a Peskitarian or one who you SUSPECT works on the side as a phone sex operator and who may or may not have a raging cocaine addiction. Don’t answer that. I already fired her.
Um…Lola…can I get her number?
What? Why is everyone looking at me like that?
Yeah Lola – I’m not sure you made the right choice. Well as the saying goes… your loss is Awesomesauciness’s gain. Wait, is that how it goes?
Pescatarian:Pescetarianism is the practice of a diet that includes seafood and excludes other animals. (wikipedia)
Kate -holy crap. Thanks for the info. This puts a whole new spin on the story about trying to correct our kids. My hubby spent a half our telling my son he was doing a math problem wrong the other night. My son was sooo sure he was right. I made the hubs stop telling him he was wrong and simply say I don’t THINK that’s right. In the end my baby boy was right. Like the new outcome of this piece we could all learn a little something from our kids! Huh?
Extremely funny. I had a feeling Jake was right. That makes your column even funnier.
Mom- you always take his side. SHEESH!
The duration of this post had me wondering “Wow. Does Jenny reallllly hate fish-eaters that much?!”
Luckily for all of us with that baby fat, we don’t also have gills.
OMG Jordan. I love fish and even more I love fish eaters! Yes, it’s true! I’m unschooled in the terminology of what people are willing to put in their mouths. There are certain things I’m not willing to put in my mouth anymore, but I don’t know if there’s a term for it. Oh yeah, there is, Jewish wife.