Author Archives: Jenny from the blog

Divorce is the New Marriage | the Suburban Jungle

Divorce is the New Marriage

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Well, why shouldn’t it be?  I mean marriage has been “in” for quite some time now.  I remember a whole slew of celebs at the altar, littering my Star Weekly, and my Us with photos of beachy weddings (where planners logged a bazillion hours trying to make the wedding seem as if it was casually put together impromptu) and high end weddings (where planners spent a bazillion hours making sure it looked like they spent a bazillion hours.)  Either way, it was a waste of my ability to read, as we all knew these marriages would end in divorce.  But, they fooled me… I think they fooled us all.  These couples, prevailed against the odds.  Continue reading →

News – French Moms Get Help from the Govt to Stay in Shape: No Fair

Do French Moms Have It Better Than We Do?

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French moms may say, “Viva la France,” but would we actually want to live in France? French women are notorious for being fit and fabulous regardless of diet and lifestyle. And according to a recent New York Times article, that includes new mothers — but these moms don’t do it on their own.
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My Articles for iVillage This Week

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Couldn’t We All Use a Sister Wife or Two?

“There’s a part of me that wants to grab these women and yell, “No man is worth sharing,” but there’s another part that’s thinking they may be on to something here. Every mom knows that…” Read  More

A New Book May Change the Way We Look at Pregnancy  origins-book-636

“…there was a simple idea that what a mom did during pregnancy would affect what her offspring was like. Now, there’s scientific proof to back this theory up.” Read More

President Obama Writes a Children’s Book

“Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters, will highlight the lives of historic figures…”  Read More

How Much Money Do Parents Spend During Baby’s First Year : this seems low to me
baby onesie“…From high-ticket items like nursery furniture, strollers, high chairs, car seats and swings to everyday essentials like baby food, diapers…” Read More

A Scary Halloween Tale

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Last year's white trash bash


I don’t know if you  are aware, but Halloween is my favorite holiday. I got married on Halloween and my rehearsal dinner was a costume ball, well roast. My annual “Adults Only” Halloween party is known far and wide. Relax, it’s not like we film porn or anything… we just strip. Actually we don’t, we revert straight back to college, pull out funnels and other such paraphernalia and make my beautifully themed abode feel more like a frat house. This party has much of my town hunting for the most original most perfect costume. Each couple strives to attain the coveted “Best Costume” award, which comes with a year’s supply of bragging rights.  Read on for more pics and info. Continue reading →

New Parenting Trend: Distracted Parenting

busy_mom_with_child_and_pets_clip_art_22864Not that long ago, helicopter parenting was all the rage; whether you hovered over your own kids or moaned about others doing so, the tendency definitely garnered some attention.  It seems the newest parenting trend to receive national attention is about a lack of attention…“Not now, Mommy’s on the phone.”  “In a minute, Mommy’s has to just send this quick email.”  “One sec, Mommy’s working.”  “Hey kids, how about we watch Big Brother… American Idol…Jersey Shore… insert somewhat inappropriate reality show here_________, together?” . Read the iVillage article here.

Dont’ for get to read yesterday’s epiphany:  Ashton Kutcher has dashed all my hopes of becoming a cougar

Ashton Kutcher has Dashed all my Hopes of Becoming a Cougar

ashton and demiOh Ashton, why? You and Demi were the poster children for May-December romances. You and you alone instilled hope in the thirty to fifty something divorcees everywhere! Your relationship with Bruce and the children. The doe eyes you made whenever Demi walked into a room. The matching white linen suits you wore to the Kabbalah center… Your abs. You made us aging women feel young, beautiful, capable of snagging a strapping, hottie that we would have once thought was sure to be uninterested in an older women.

I was so looking forward to my moment with a recent college grad. Wearing his fraternity letters Continue reading →

News – It’s 12 O’clock: Do you Know What Your Children are Eating?

As if helicopter parenting weren’t enough, now we can closely monitor what our kids eat at school. Yup, school districts across the country have signed on to use a new technology, which tracks what a child purchases in the school cafeteria. The Lunch Prepay program allows parents to view their child’s 45-day purchase history 24/7. Read More at iVillage

News – Study Says there’s No Cure for Morning Sickness

It’s the most exciting time of a woman’s life and she’s just sick over it. Well, 50% of women are sick over it. Yup, half of pregnant woman report symptoms of morning sickness during early pregnancy — me included — and apparently there is little that can be done about it.

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Mine Mine Mine – Thoughts on Ownership by Baby Ryan


Here’s the thing I’m trying to get across to the servants today. If one of your baby’s has something I want, then it’s mine. MINE! I don’t know how to say it any louder. I think once I rip it out of their pudgy, wet, little, sausage hands, it belongs to me. In case that rule isn’t clear enough, I immediately stick it in my mouth and suck on it to let everyone in the park know that I am the new owner.

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Don’t forget to read the last post on Vajazzling and Vatooing your Vajayjay!