Can Jon Hamm’s ‘Package’ Save the World?

This one’s for the ladies and also gay men with excellent taste: Thoughts from the Suburban Jungle about Jon Hamm’s Penis.

Yes, after all the shares and comments on FB yesterday … I realized this is the question on everyone’s lips: Can Jon Hamm’s penis save the world? (Which in some way means Jon Hamm’s penis is on everyone’s lips and that’s kinda gross, Jon Hamm!) So, I made this for you guys, also, I was really bored and happened to be wearing full make at the time…

(On a side note it was reported recently that during season six of Mad Men  according to the New York Daily News, AMC had to ask Hamm to wear underwear because “This season takes place in the 1960s, where the pants are very tight and leave little to the imagination.” The source also said”Jon’s impressive anatomy is so distracting that they politely insisted on underwear.” The AMC insider also said they had to Photoshop in seasons one and two to cover up Hamm’s distracting bulge.)

Well, I guess I was on to something when I made this video.


I couldn’t find his penis anywhere in this picture, which was not for a lack of trying.


12 thoughts on “Can Jon Hamm’s ‘Package’ Save the World?

  1. Melissa M

    As we all know, Tom Cruise secretly wants to run the world via Scientology So let’s see if putting ‘Jon Hamm’s Penis’ in some of his most memorable quotes still hold up…pun intended.

    ‘YOU CANT HANDLE JON HAMM’S PENIS!’ – OK, that works
    ‘You had me at Jon Hamm’s Penis’ – Ok, Tom didn’t actually say that one but still…
    ‘There is life in every Jon Hamm’s Penis- Ok, during his Samurai phase
    ‘I feel the need, I feel the need for Jon Hamm’s Penis’- hmm, those fly boys weren’t subtle were they?
    ‘Jon Hamm’s Penis, there is no substitute- Ok, he was strutting about in shades and white undies at this point.
    So according to Mr. Cruise (or Master of all as he is hoping to be called,) Jon Hamm’s Penis could actually save the world as long as it goes through Tom Cruise…well, you know what I mean.

    1. Jenny from the blog Post author

      Melissa, that was a brilliant assessment of Jon Hamm’s penis and it’s abilities. I think there need be no other arguments here… you’ve proven that Jon Hamm’s Penis works. And one more thought from Jerry McGuire – SHOW ME JON HAMM’S PENIS (Yep, also works).

  2. KBR

    My brother and I have a game similar to Melissa’s – substituting classic movie titles. Here, JH’s P works stunningly, too ~

    The Wizard of Jon Hamm’s Penis
    Jon Hamm’s Penis in the Rain (working title: Singin’ in John Hamm’s Penis)
    One Flew Over Jon Hamm’s Penis
    Who’s Afraid of Jon Hamm’s Penis?
    Jon Hamm’s Penis’ Story
    A Streetcar Named John Hamm’s Penis
    Snow White and Jon Hamm’s Penis
    Raiders of Jon Hamm’s Penis
    The Lord of Jon Hamm’s Penis
    Good Morning, Jon Hamm’s Penis
    The Last Temptation of Jon Hamm’s Penis

  3. KBR

    Thanks to your promotional campaign began, word is that Hollywood is going nuts finding Jon Hamm’s penis a leading role. Finding the right genre has been hard. Will it be dramatic? Animated? Musical? Some revivals being considered:

    The Return of Jon Hamm’s Penis
    Finding Jon Hamm’s Penis
    The Curious Case of Jon Hamm’s Penis
    An Officer and Jon Hamm’s Penis
    The Hand That Rocks Jon Hamm’s Penis
    Singing in Jon Hamm’s Penis, and
    The Last Temptation of Jon Hamm’s Penis.

    I’m sure you’ll be invited to the premiere ~

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