Said in a rest stop bathroom in front of one of those machines that has all things useful from Tylenol to wine openers…
8yo Daugher: “Mom, why do they sell candy in the bathroom?”
Me: “That’s not candy, it’s a tampon”
8yo: “What’s a tampon?”
Me: (I always said, if my kids asked a question I would do my best to answer honestly.) “It’s when insert uncomfortable conversation here how blood flows from your body … once a month etc. ”
8yo: (After cringing and informing me that she may rethink being a girl because girls “get all the sucky stuff like boobies and blood that comes out when you don’t even have a cut,” she noticed a row of rainbow colored condoms in clear packaging,) “what’s that purple balloon thing?”
Me: “Candy, now let’s go.”
(To hell with honesty!)
While watching the Voice…
8yo Daughter: Mom, I feel really bad for that girl. She’s an only child and her parents are divorced.
Me: Really??? I’m an only child and my parents are divorced.
8yo Daughter: (look of awe as if she processed for the first time — then sigh) It’s different, she’s younger than you.
Me: I was younger than me once too, you know?
8yo Daughter: Yeah, but she doesn’t have bangs.
(Bangs make it all better)
Talking with Tracey about KY Jelly…
Tracey: Seriously, who buys that stuff?
Me: I’ve bought it before, I don’t think it’s so random.
Tracey: Well, do you buy a specific type that does something special, like heats up? Ooh, or makes your husband look like Adam Levine? Do they have one that does that, because if they do, I’ll buy it…
Me: Yes, in fact they do … You buy the regular kind and apply it to your eyeballs.
Join the snark on FB!
RELATED STORY: Bleep it Out Children – The Things Moms Do For Love – Quick Bytes
BE AWESOME, LIKE THIS POST
BE AWESOMER, TAKE ME SHOE SHOPPING!
I just laughed so hard out loud and needed that!!
I always told the boys — my tampons were for applying makeup when they were younger!
And – get me some adam levine inducing KY stat
I’m glad I could be of service. I’m buying that KY by the barrel.
I want the Jensen Ackles brand of KY….by the case load, s’il vous plait!
We should call KY ASAP!
Some conversations can wait! This was great for a Monday laugh!!
Wait awhile hopefully!
loved it lol. I want Adam Levine KY too…
HA! My mom always told me that tampons were Q-tips for grown up ears — that never lead to years of therapy or anything…
I think most of what we say as parents could be repeated in therapy, though I like the creativity your mom had.
Yes, but what do you say to the teenage boy checker at the grocery store when you roll up and unload 6 tubes of KY (not the Levine inducing type) and 4 Fleet enemas?
He was struck speechless – and motionless. Finally my 7-year-old niece says “Its a science project dumbass.” and startled him out of his horror.
Honestly though, its foaling season. The niece, she’s gonna be a handful.
I love that your niece said that, she sounds really fun!
There is a political joke nap out condoms and giving candy to babies but sadly I’m not quick enough to get it…
I’ll pretend you found it and be like, “good one” Julia.