I am no stranger to laziness, but this is extreme, even for me. I went to get refill blades for the Gillette Fusion, Mach 91, turbo, hydraulics razors that Mark and I use, but they were out. So I got the Mach 90 version instead. Being that the blades were a number off, our razor handles did not fit, but luckily, Mark had one from the last time Gillette came out with the “most powerful razor on the planet.”
We only had one handle between the two of us and since Mark shaves 5 times more often me, (I did the math) Mark got dibs. Therefore, I had to remember to take his handle into the shower and put in my blade that waited on the shelf, anytime I needed to shave.
Today. It wasn’t until I got in the shower that I realized how badly I needed to shave. Rather then open the shower door, walk all the way to his sink, and get the floor wet along the way, I decided the smarter call would be to hold the blade gently allowing it to pivot in my finger tips. Well , another brilliant idea borne by laziness. I mean look at Benjamin Franklin; sure, kite flying isn’t lazy, but it certainly isn’t a grand endeavor.
I had finished one leg, when shampoo dripped perilously into my eye. Rather than stop, turn around, and grab the towel hanging two inches from my face, I trudged on. I mean, what could be the harm in pivoting a razor in my finger-tips, while precariously balancing, with only one eye?
Actually, I got a fabulous shave minus one nick and what I might have to term a divot. I am often amazed by the things I will do to avoid doing other things.
PS The kicker is that my wireless mouse just ran out of batteries, and I had to empty yet another remote to fill it All, so that I could write this particular post about laziness… Oh, the irony.
I’d love to know if anyone has done other comparably lazy things.
Hysterical. All I could imagine was blood running down your leg instead of shampoo running in your eyes. I will admit that the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree. I too am too lazy to get up and go in the other room to get batteries to re-fill my mouse. Instead, I tried moving the batteries around. Didn’t work long, so I rummaged through one of the drawers in the office to find two loose batteries (which I probably already used) to replace the unusable ones. It works (but I don’t know for how long). I guess I should bring the batteries from the kitchen into the office, but again I am too lazy, or is it forgetfullness, “Yeah, that’s the ticket”.
I used to have a website (before blogs) called TheLazyhead where i confessed weekly to my lazy adventures. Some of my favorite highlights are:
1) standing outside a restaurant, reading their menu and phoning in a delivery order so by the time I walked home to my apartment, they’d arrive with my dinner (vs me waiting).
2) throwing out clothes because they were missing a button
3) letting my child wear a pull-up on a car trip because I wasn’t going to feel like pulling over to use a bathroom anytime soon.
Well mom, I mean cherie, it is clear who I get this fabulous trait from.
Genn- I love your laziness. I will have to try the first. Usually I call for a reservation when I get in the car, so I don’t have to put my name on a list when I get there. Sometimes I even pretend to know the mgr which makes them uncomfortable that they don’t remember me and then they give me a table, sometimes they even send drinks. That one really cracks me up. I also call for pick up from outside a restaurant when the line is too long so I don’t have to wait in it. But to call for delivery… brilliant.
J from the B
I’m too lazy to bring things in from the car.
Cups, books, toys, trash…
But my car is not messy because I have everything elaborately organized. I apparently am not too lazy to organize the clutter – just to carry things into the house.
Grabbing the mail from the mailbox at the the top of our driveway as I drive home. Only sounds lame when I have to explain to people why I have so many scratches along the left side of my car…..
My husband is the best at picking things up with his toes so he doesn’t have to bend to reach them…..
And asking my kids to get everything for me from the comfort of my couch (a blanket, the remote, the phone, my laptop…..).
Oh, and faking taking a nap when my husband comes home to explain why nothing’s been done around the house.
All I can say is that laziness loves company…well, maybe not literally. After all that involves house cleaning. But I do love to know that others have the same penchant for cutting corners. But we aren’t alone! Oh no. Otherwise would our lexicon contain such shortcuts as LOL or LMAO or even TTFN if we weren’t a culture of inherently lazy people? Would we have microwaves? Remotes?
Maybe some of your laziness will rub off The other side of the coin is those of us that desire to be a little more lazy. I don’t think shaving my face with a blade without a handle, is something I’d try. Sounds like a good way to lose a lot of blood or maybe my Nose. Hope your not too lazy to read these comments.
I am so lazy I probably won’t finish th
I text my son from the other room because I am just too darn lazy to get up and go in the other room.
I got married because I knew I wanted kids but am too lazy to care for them.
Bravo! Yes, I am guilty as sin when it comes to taking shortcuts.
Just loved that moment when I tossed a towel on the floor, misted the floor with cleaner, then placed my feet on the towel and proceeded to mist and clean the flooring in two rooms…only to find my wifes white cashmere sweater was stuck to the underside!
Great Post! Marc 🙂
many of these sound familiar! but here’s 2 thoughts:
1) when i’m too lazy to cook dinner, i order out from a restaurant near home. it takes me 12 min. to walk from the subway to the restaurant and 15 min. for them to prepare my order. so i call when i get out of the subway, and by the time i walk there and pay, it’s ready. no waiting!!
2) the ultimate lazy tale about shaving is not doing it (or all of it). way up here in the great white north, we’re all well covered up in winter. and being 6 ft. tall, there’s a lot of “lawn to mow” on these legs. who would know if i don’t mow upper 40%? there’s no neighborhood assoc. checking it out, right?
while i usually maintain the “pits” in all seasons, last week i noticed in the shower that i was a little behind schedule. there was this nice soft fuzz, almost like baby’s hair! it was seemed so smooth and cute, i was thinking of leaving it!
Not dangerously, just chronically. Like holding my pee in long enough so that the resultant stream will be forceful enough to blast the toilet bowl clean. One man’s lazy is another’s pragmatic.
I loved all your lazy moments and am thinking of stealing some for my next blog. I would fully plagiarize because I am too lazy to think of my own stuff and I will give no credit, because that would take way too much effort. You guys could sue, but by the looks of it, you will be too lazy to do so.
Jenny from the blog