Love Words with Friends? If more than half of these describe YOU,  I’ll see you in WWFAA or we could just play a game, my schedule’s too tight for a twelve step program these days (TWELVE min- 14pts.).

Ok, I’ve played my fair share of Angry Birds, and Fruit Ninja, and Cut the Rope, but there’s something unique about Words with Friends, that has me utterly fixated. (FIXATED minimum 18 points) Maybe it’s the fact that I get to whup other people and feel superior. (WHUP min- 13pts.) I don’t exactly know.  I do know that I’m not alone, 20 million players have downloaded this addictive app. (ADDICTIVE min- 18pts.)

I mean, I’m not an addict – Frankly, I could quit at anytime.  Though, I’m told that’s the first thing an addict says.  Well, right after, “I’m not an addict.” S&*t, I’m screwed.  (SCREWED min- 14pts.)

In an effort to see if I’m truly hooked, I compiled a list of indicators. Feel free to test your level of obsession, as well. (HOOKED min- 13pts.)

1.   You know every two letter word in the WWF dictionary  AA, JO, ZA, KA, QI etc… (QI min 11pts.)

2.   You know every word that can be made with the letters J, Q, X, Z, from AJEE to ZYGOTE… (ZYGOTE min- 19pts.)

3.   You realize it’s sometimes worth it to leave open a triple when you can get a high score on a double-double. (HIGH min- 10pts.)

4.   Number 3. didn’t sound like gibberish to you.  (GIBBERISH min- 17pts.)

5.   You know that to win you need strategy and persistence.  A good vocabulary is near the bottom of the prerequisites.  And you’re ok with that, because you’re a persistent strategist. OK (OK is not a word.  Didn’t see that one coming did you?)

6.   You can only use about 50% of the words you play in an actual sentence. “Gi, your hair smells terrific.” (GI min- 4pts)

7.   You’re willing to try every letter combo in your stack to make a bingo. (BINGO min- 11pts.)

8.  When someone accuses you of using a cheat, you act all offended, but your really thinking, “Awww geez, what a nice thing to say.” (GEEZ min- 15pts.)

9.   You play anyone that challenges you even though, you barely remember ever having known them, they may be flirting, or their coinciding pic somewhat resembles the unibomber. (KNOWN min- 14pts.)

10.  If you accidentally push the wrong name and challenge some random person you haven’t seen since camp you play them anyway… you don’t want the loss on your record. Shout out to Adam O. – I love our games, even though I wouldn’t recognize you at a camp reunion. (CAMP min- 13pts.)

11.  You find that you’re actually holding your breath until those dashes stop circling. (FIND min- 9pts.)

12.  You feel like a failure if you play a word under 15 points unless your setting your self up for a 40 pointer on your next move. (NEXT min- 12pts.)

13.  You queerly give yourself a mental high five on words that rack up 50 points or more.  No, make that 30 points.  50+ gets a fist pump and an audible “yes.”  70+ may require an attempt at a cartwheel. (PUMP min- 14pts.)

14.  You know your highest score on a single word and you’re thankful that FB now has a score board to show it off.  (OFF min- 9pts.)

15.  You can distinguish the WWF ding from the 8,000 other noises your phone makes and you subtlety  jump to attention when you hear it. (JUMP min- 20pts.)…”

16.  You’ve actually woken up from sleeping to play a word. (WOKEN min- 13pts.)

17.  You find yourself staring at your phone/pad/computer after putting in a word as if willing someone to play you back.  Damn it, why aren’t they on the same schedule as me!  You tell yourself that this is the reason you need to play so many games. (BACK min- 14pts.)

18.  You think Alec Baldwin’s reaction to the airline attendant was tame.  Please, she deserved his wrath, he might have been playing a multiword triple with a ZAX.  Did anyone think to ask? How rude! (ZAX min- 19pts.)

19.  You are keenly aware of how many S’s and blanks are available at any given time. (KEENLY min- 14pts.)

20.  If you hear a ding during sex you consider checking your phone.  Nevermind, you’ll just rush through… as usual. (SEX min-10pts.)

21.  You have actually played WWF in your dreams and woken to find yourself irked that your awesome word (which may have included numbers and hieroglyphics) didn’t count. (IRK min- 7pts.)

22.  You found this article while doing a search entitled “Help, I’m addicted to Words With Friends” (HELP min- 10pts.)

Fine, so maybe we’re a little addicted.  Look, it would be worse.  It could be crack (CRACK min 15pts.)

*I’m aware that was more than 20.  I said I’m addicted to word games… not Sudoku.

Please share this with anyone you play or you know who plays… if you can peel yourself from imputing words long enough.

– Jenny From the Blog (BLOG min- 10pts.)

BTW- if you get a chance check out my last piece  Sex or Oven Cleaning – The Age Old Question and my new piece on The Huffington Post: Barbie and I Cannot Get our Jeans Over our Thighs

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