Adam Levine Coughed Up A Hairball

Let's Name Our Cat Will FeralIf you’ve been reading me for a while, you know my son is the sentimental sensitive one and my daughter has the snark of Chelsea Handler, the attitude of an 80’s valley girl, and the comic timing of Conan O’Brien.  She would also sell you down the river for tickets to a Katy Perry concert … maybe even a Kit Kat bar.

(It’s funny how kids can be so different from each other and still so clearly like their parents.)

Anyhoo, the other night my witty daughter and I were discussing what we will name our new kitty. (Which we haven’t found yet.) The conversation actually started because Ry was interested in what she should name her daughter when she has one.

Ry: “
Mom should I name my daughter Diamond, Texas, or Sapphire?”

Me: (Well, I guess I’ll be adding a stripper pole to that kid’s layette) You know those are way better names for a kitten?

Ry: Noooo, I was thinking we would name our kitten something cute, like Snowball or maybe Mr. Something.

Me: Ooh, I like that — we could name it after a famous Mister like, Mr. Burns, or Mr. Magoo.

Ry: I was thinking more like Mr. Nubs

Me: Really Mr. nubs? That makes him sound like a creepy cat amputee.  (I’m thinking we need to talk a lot more before she’s allowed to name anything of importance.)  Well, one of my favorite bloggers has a cat named Ferris Mewler (all crazy bloggers have cats, it’s a prerequisite). So why not name it after a variation of a famous person like, Will Feral? Get it? (snicker snicker) Feral?


Me: It’s what they call cats off the street.

Ry: No mommy I don’t get it. Plus I don’t like the name Will Ferrell for a man, why would I want it for my cat?

Me: Good point. What about Justin Biepurr?

Ry: No Way

Me: Clawwwdia Schiffer?

Ry: Who?

Me: Simon Meowal?

Ry: Mom are you serious?

Me: Paw-la Abdul?

Ry: Why are you naming all the people who were on American Idol?

Me: OK, better idea: Why can’t we just name it after someone famous. Like we could name our cat Angelina Jolie, or Jimmy Fallon.  Then we could say stuff like, “I spent the day hanging out with Jimmy Fallon” or “Angelina Jolie just peed on your bed.”

Ry: Oh my G-d mom, “Harry Styles just licked me.”

Me: Yeah yeah, “Brad Pitt slept next to me last night.”

Ry: “Christina Aguilera  needs her claws trimmed.”

(Wait, that one works in real life too… )

Me: “Oprah Winfrey chewed up the computer plug.”

“President Obama is sleeping in your closet.”

“Look, Cee Lo Green is licking his genitals again.”

Ry: Adam Levine coughed up a hairball.

G-d I love that kid.

RELATED POST: Let’s Name Our Dog Butt Munch

PS We’re accepting name ideas…


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20 thoughts on “Adam Levine Coughed Up A Hairball

  1. Amarticus

    Hahahahahahaha! How about Al Roker – “Oh, lookie! Al Roker just pooped all over the place!” – because that one happened in real life. See what I did there?

  2. candice

    These conversations you are having with Ryan sound oddly familiar to ones we used to have in college!! I am so happy she has the same sense of humor as you!!! You have met your match! xoxo

  3. Amanda

    Russell Claw just spotted an alien! You can totally tell because he’s giving me the “Kiss my pencil sharpener, I’m out of here” pose.

  4. Karen Baitch Rosenberg

    The (Insert name here made a poopy) is one of the tests for our upcoming puppy. Was for our babies, too.

  5. Angela aka Miss.Success

    OMG Jenny I wish I could sit in on one of your conversations with you and Ry! I hear great things about her aka Lil Jen! You two are hilarious. How about P.Diddy…”OMG mom P.Diddy just diddied all over” oh wait maybe that’ll work for a dog DARN. And your mom just posted a really good one 🙂 I tried….suggestions to be continued…

  6. PinotNinja

    “Carson (Catson?) Daly is batting around his prey again. Why won’t he just put that wide-eyed baby mouse out of her misery already?”

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