These are a Quick Bytes, like a Wordless Wednesday, but with words … and no picture. So really, nothing like that … maybe more like tapas?

JUST BLEEP IT OUT CHILDREN

This was my convo in the car last night and it just reiterates that I’m constantly outsmarted by my children and also that sometimes I’m too lazy/tired/worn-down to care.

8yo Daughter: Mom, can you buy Thrift Shop for your iPhone, it’s the new Gangnam Style.

Me: Is it?

8yo: Well, it is for the older kids. The kids in my class still think Gangnam Style is the new Gangnam Style, but they all have YOUNGER sisters and brothers, so they don’t really know.

Me: Not like you who has an older brother to teach you what’s up?

8yo: Yep. Oh and don’t get the clean version, I’ll just say “bleep” through the f’words. It ruins the song when they just go silent during the bad words don’t you think?

Me: (I actually do) Um, well we wouldn’t want to ruin the integrity of the master piece. But, I’ll go with the clean version, you can say bleep through the silences.

8yo: Never mind, I’ll just take the one Jake has off his phone.

Well, another problem solved. Pat on the back for good parenting, Jenny.

 

THE THINGS MOMS DO FOR LOVE:

CARPOOL CHILD 1: Oh G-d what’s that smell?

MY 11YO SON: It’s my sister’s feet she took off her shoes. Her feet are rancid.

MY 8YO DAUGHTER: Stop stop, shut up stop (on verge of tears).

11 YO: FUN-GUS FEET! Get me oxygen

All other kids laughing with hands over their noses … (Oh, her feet were that bad.)

ME: Guys those aren’t her feet … I farted, now enough.

CARPOOL CHILD 2: Ewwww your mom farted.

11YO: No she didn’t it’s my sister’s feet.

ME: IF I SAY I FARTED THEN I FARTED end of discussion.

(Can we protect them forever?)

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