Come One Come All

Like the great city of New York, I’m giving away vibrators, seriously. What am I talking about? How did this happen? How could you win?

If you’ve cracked open a paper or macbook recently, including the NY Post, whose headline read: Buzz Kill – city stops sex-toy giveaway, you would know that the lines to get a free Trojan sex toy in NYC yesterday stretched for blocks, clogging streets and blocking store fronts — though the stunt was quickly shut down by Mayor Bloomberg, who’s been called a “cock-block” in the media (I kid you not). Frankly, I’ve been calling him that ever since college when he was insistent on continuing a game of beer pong as a cute Senior attempted to kiss me in the corner. Oh, Mike, always up for a good drinking game.

So, today I remind you, my readers, that I’m always ahead of the curve. Yes, I wrote How Many Vibrators Does it Take to Turn on a Blogger, 2 days ago and today… 20 new articles surfaced on the sex toy swag, including front page of my beloved NY Post.

So, I called the peeps at Trojan, since these vibrators seem to be burning a hole in there pants (well panties) and they said they would give some to my readers who were not fortunate enough to be in NYC yesterday. Yay! No lines! I know, I rock. Thinking about your pleasure and all. Like a really unselfish lover, which I’ve unfortunately never been called, until now.


That said, to enter for a vibrator, for yourself or a friend or your child’s teacher… Tweet me this line, “Jenny from the Blog @SuburbanJungle is awesome & she’s giving away stuff for women: ” plus anything complimentary you feel like writing, then leave a comment to let me know that you tweeted (and so I’ll have your info). If you don’t have a twitter account you can simply share this article on FB, but include something lovely about me anyway. And of course still leave a comment to let me know you shared. You will be entered into a random drawing, which will be done Monday Aug 13th. This means anything complimentary you write is of no purpose other than to feed my ego, which is super needy!!! (I have no idea how many they’re going to give away. I’m hoping somewhere between 5 and 5,000, but I’m thinking closer to 5.)

Much Love,


Addendum: 8-13 – the winners have been chosen!!! Thanks to all who entered!

Hey, while you’re here check out some of my humor articles on

Parenting: Moms of Boys Are Jealous Shrews,

Marriage: Sex or Oven Cleaning the Age Old Dilema

Fifty Shades: What it Would REALLY be Like to Be Married to Christian Grey

AGING: 40 Things Every Woman Should Know or Should Have by 40

… and feel free to sign up for email notification or RSS

36 thoughts on “Come One Come All

  1. Lisa B

    You do rock Jenny and not just because you’ll probably give me a vibrator, but because you’re also hilarious!!!

  2. Kimskids

    I’m in I’m in I’m in! I’m going to read more but first to share on FB! Thanks Jenny

  3. Melissa M

    3 top reasons why I need a free vibrator
    3. Hubby says not to buy anything silly for a while. (Hello! This is free)
    2. It will bring a grin to my mailman.
    1. My family complains that it’s hard to buy for my grandmother as she has everything. I am going to knock their complaints out of the park!

  4. Dad

    I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. All those years of doing without, working my fingers to the bone, saving and praying, so that my LITTLE GIRL would have a wonderful life and a great education, have paid off.

    After reading this, and your last blog, I feel like I’ve accomplished all I hoped for. . I know you’re doing well with your life and your writing. It’s nice that you’re proud of being a “swag whore ” I’m not certain what that is exactly, but I’m happy for you.

    I see your now involved with a vibrator company, promoting or Handling their giveaways, and I guess that’s also a good thing.

    I’m looking at the fact that I’m so proud and have only 1 question: WHAT DID I DO WRONG !!

  5. Bari

    It’s wonderful to have a step- daughter ( who is so much more like a daughter ) who can get me all the vibrators I ever dreamed. I no longer have to slink around sleazy sex shops and brown bag it. Talk about SWAG!

    1. Jenny from the blog Post author

      Bari I had no idea you were risking your life for sex paraphernalia. Thank goodness I’m able to help out the family. Like a kid who’s signed to a sports team. You’re welcome.

  6. Melanie

    Your Dad is hysterical! I guess it runs in the family! I don’t Tweet or FB but I do think Lorne Michaels would get a kick out of you. Ok, now does posting this here count me in for the contest?

  7. Heather Gupton

    You are hilarious! I had to Share on Twitter and Facebook how funny the article is. I was laughing out loud reading your the article I wished I had the balls to read it out loud to all the strangers starring at me! Thank God for the Huffington Post for posting your blog u rock! I can’t stop reading.

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