Does spanking lower IQ and what do you think of the new study that says it does? Do you believe in spanking as a form of punishment… why or why not? Lastly, were you spanked and if so what was your response and will you spank your own children?
The CBS interview will run today on the 5 o’clock new on CBS4. It will be on towards the end of the hour like 5:40 or so. The teaser will be on in the beginning. Please, watch if you get the channel. If not, I will post a link.
Please continue to respond for an article I am doing for iVillage on Monday. I would love to hear more of your thoughts on the controversial issue. I appreciate your candor and look forward to reading your responses.
Thanks,
Jenny from the blog
I don’t spank because I don’t want them to solve their problems by hitting people, and I think what I do is more instructive than what I say.
I have found it very easy to parent without spanking. It is not necessary.
My husband and I do not spank our children (although there are times when I wonder if we made the right decision). We think it is hypocritical to tell your kids to be kind to others and treat others as you would like to be treated and then hit them. Children learn so much by observing their role models and especially their parents. As much as they can frustrate me I think spanking sends the wrong message every time. How can I tell my kids that physically hurting someone else is never the right answer and then hit one of them?
Well, I never really spanked, but a hand every once in awhile found it way to a body part. Did you have any problems with an IQ level. I thought you had a pretty high IQ…at least that’s what I was told when you were in school. I have taken a survey at the office and people think it depends upon how hard you smack them and if you’re banging their head against a wall. A hand to their butt should not kill any brain cells.
Not sure you should use my response, but hey, I was never spanked and I don’t have a college degree and work a trade; my husband was spanked and more, and he has a Masters AND he is working on his PhD so…
And, since he is the smarty, he would tell you that these kind of studies are not reliable, you can’t base a statement like that on one factor, and numbers can be manipulated to support any theory you have; what about love? affirmation, eating dinner together every night? What about broken families, genetic factors, environmental factors and educational opportunities?
These studies support agendas, not facts, in my opinion….and when you’re willing to answer the question with your personal convictions and reasons, be ready for the responses…
I don’t know about the IQ thing, but I find it hard to comprehend that you can do something to a small child and find approval, while doing the same thing to an (unwilling) adult could get you charged with felony assault!
Are you referring to this article? http://news.yahoo.com/s/hsn/20090915/hl_hsn/earlyspankingsmakeforaggressivetoddlersstudyshows
That article really chaps my hide! I’ve made some notes to write my own post about it but haven’t gotten it up yet.
Anyhow:
1.) I was spanked as a child. In my opinion, I was not abused, not even close. I graduated in the top ten percent of my high school class (9 out of 99) and was in and did well in) all the advanced classes in high school. I scored an 1190 on the SAT my sophomore year if I remember correctly. I learned to play three different instruments, took 4 years of Spanish and obtained fluency, did well in art and karate, had lots of friends and have done well in every job I’ve ever had. I’ve never been fired from any job. In college I had above a 3.0 GPA (3.25?)- I chose not to finish college to focus on being a mother. I COULD have succeeded in that if I’d chosen to.
2.) My brother was spanked more than me, and was just as smart, or even smarter. He tested high enough to get into the honors classes, but too many kids in his class did and he didn’t make the cut. He was bored in regular classes and made the poor decision slack off and his grades reflected that. I consider him a “victim” of the public education system, not a victim of spanking.
3.) I have 3 different kids. Key word: different. I have used the same parenting tactics with all three of them. My oldest was naturally very docile and patient. She rarely pushed boundaries, but when she did, there were consequences. I remember swatting her hand around age 1 when she threw peas on the floor in a fit of anger (after being told twice not to do it and and getting mad about that.) She never exhibited any kind of anger stemming from that. She remained very laidback and docile — until her 3 years younger sister was old enough for them to start fighting over toys. Her younger sister has a completely different temperament (we call her the drama queen for a reason!) She basically TAUGHT the older one how to fight. The youngest was as SWEET as CAN BE for the first 8 months.Then it was like he decided he needed to be louder than his older sisters to get heard. They all do different things to get in trouble. They all react differently to discipline. I believe temperament and personality is a huge factor in how kids respond to a situation, and that study didn’t factor in any of that. Also, all three of my kids learned their ABC’s at age 2. My oldest could write her name at age 3. She’s 9 and reading on a 6th grade reading level. My middle child excels at math. At 6 she can add and subtract, tell time to the half hour, and more. My youngest, at 3 draws exceptional (I think) pictures. He draws as well as his 6 year old sister. He builds creative things with his blocks and plays imaginatively with a few limited dress up pieces. By the way, he gets swats several times a week, because he likes to question authority a lot – but he’s also one of my sweetest, giving tons of kisses, very cuddly, and often thoughtful with little sweet gestures. I adore him, he’s my little doll.
4.) I found the study in the recent article very lacking in it’s methods. It sounded like they stepped in, took a survey and drew some conclusions. It did not appear to follow the same children for any length of time. it made inflammatory statements. One statement, about spanking 1 year olds, has led to more off the cuff statements like “WHAT CAN A ONE YEAR OLD POSSIBLY DO TO DESERVE A SPANKING!?” by many people around the internet and in the news. The article neglects to remind people that a 23 month old is still technically 1, as they haven’t had their 2nd birthday yet. It also doesn’t define spanking. What qualifies as a spanking? One swat on the hand? Or is a swat on the bottom necessary? Are these people spanking with their hand? A paddle? A belt? I think that was a very necessary and overlooked piece of information to their study. Another inflammatory statement was made, making poor people look worse off than more well off people. Though I will say this, having been on both ends of the spectrum, money stress puts your whole life under more stress. It’s a cancer of the home. Basically I found the study incomplete and one-sided and it was obvious that the person that wrote the article had a definite opinion about it, ending their article with negative statements against spanking.
5.) The real issue at hand with spanking, or any form of discipline, is disciplining in anger. A child can be abused without ever having a hand laid on them. It’s important to not discipline a child when/because you are mad at them. (Which of course, this article didn’t address at all.) I have felt worse about losing my temper and snapping at my children than I have ever felt in calmly issuing an earned swat. Any form of discipline can be abused. Any form of discipline can be used correctly. I personally favor a combination of methods, but above all I believe that consistency, calmness and communicating the cause and effect (and teaching them what to do instead) is key. We can’t overlook these things.
6.) Before I come across as ignorant of the way things really work, lemme wrap up with this. My husband WAS spanked too much as a child. His father owned a body shop – he and his brothers found themselves spanked with anything from a seatbelt to a timing belt. They all tell stories of being swatted well up into the double digit range. There were other things also, being yelled at, being deprived of things. My husband spent nearly his entire freshman year of high school grounded and confined to his room except to go to school for refusing to do his homework. His mom confirms all these things, they are not tall tales and exaggerations. And though my husband has a short temper, he has NEVER hit me, and he doesn’t treat his kids the same way. He has a 3 swat minimum rule. He hugs and kisses and cuddles his kids, even while admitting that his father never did that. Who’s to say that my husband’s short temper does or doesn’t stem from his childhood or that he wouldn’t have had that personality anyway? But I CAN say this. My husband did not land himself in jail for assault or become a serial killer or a child abuser because of being spanked. He’s also very smart, he started taking college classes at 16 and had a higher than 3.0 GPA also.
I’m sure there are those who come from those kinds of backgrounds that don’t turn out well. But how can blame it on spanking? How can we rule out other environment factors and personality traits? How can we blame 2 and 3 year olds acting out on something like spanking when it is in the very child nature of 2 and 3 year olds to begin asserting their own independence and testing the boundaries at that age anyway. As for intelligence, I think children are born with different strengths (math, arts, etc.) and their environment, education and personality are the biggest factors determining how well they excel in those strengths.
I, for one, am not buying it. =)
Wow – that was even longer than it looked in the comment box. I’m sorry. I almost emailed it to you instead, but then, that doesn’t foster a conversation here in the comments. I’m sure that will help pull plenty of people out of the woodwork for the other side of the argument. 😉
Thanks for the responses so far. Amber I’m sorry I didn’t read yours before my interview, it was a very interesting perspective. I don’t know that I buy the study either, but as someone who is anti spanking I think it can’t hurt being in the media, as it may stop some bad habits… or lessen them.
PS mom, just think how much smarter I’s could be if no smacking took place. I be like a jenius or somtin’.
Since I doubt they randomly took parents and told one group to spank and another not to, the study cannot possibly be measuring IQ connected only to who spanks and who doesn’t. There are too many variables, including who chooses to spank.
Spanking is much more common in certain segments of our society, and appears rarest among white, middle class America. I think they may be measuring socioeconomic and class differences more than spanking/not spanking differences.
I don’t believe in spanking either. I used the old “By the time I count to three. 1…2…” and invariably the problem would be solved by three. (If it wasn’t, she was sent to her room.) My daughter, even up to her twenties, still responded to the 1…2…I could hardly believe it when one time she was goofing around (at age 20) and I told her I was working and asked her to stop. She didn’t…I said, “Please stop. 1…2…” and then she stopped. She looked at me with a mischievous smile and we both started laughing.
As to how spanking relates to I.Q., I would say that it relates to E.Q. not I.Q. (E.Q. being emotional intelligence). I believe spanking would hurt one’s self confidence more than one’s intelligence.
Good points, Dana, the results may reflect more on class and socioeconomic differences. I think you summed up my main issue with the study in two sentences. See, I may be pretty smart, but I’ve never been very brief. Never ever. 😉
Jenny – perhaps if I hadn’t taken so long to write it you could have gotten it sooner. =P
Loved your answer. Exactly how I feel. I was spanked. So were my children and grand children and none of us were abused! I loved my Mom, Grandmother and aunts. etc who swatted me when I needed it. (I grew up in South so whoever saw the offense could address it.)
I am pro-spanking. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with spanking when it’s used properly. I was spanked as a child and I spanked my own children when they were younger and needed it. I don’t believe for a minute it is connected to low IQ or anything else – including causing violence in those spanked. I am not a violent person after having been spanked nor are my children. I also consider myself to be of above-average intelligence. I graduated top 10% of my class in high school and missed graduating with honors in college by about a tenth of a point. That was only because I got in a little over my head my freshman year of college and my grades reflected that. My last 2-3 years of college I maintained a 4.0.
My children are also above-average and have tested in the 95-99 percentile on standardized tests. My daughter just took the ACT this month and she scored a 29 (and that was her first try, she’s a junior in high school, and she did not finish it because she ran out of time). I’d say her IQ is probably pretty high… and she was spanked plenty when she was little.
My kids are now two of the most well-behaved children I know because they were disciplined well when they were young and grew up to know that rules and boundaries are important and respect for authority is as well.
That’s my 2 cents. 🙂
That is such a joke. I was spanked, did nothing to my IQ. Not to brag, but I’m well above average. I’m not mentally scarred and I don’t go around attacking people, despite how much I might want to (people in Miami are annoying as he**).
I think people just see what they want to see. Some people have decided spanking’s bad and they’re creating biased studies in order to support their positions. It’s nonsense.
i grew up in a time when kids were spanked. while i did well in school and college (maybe i would have done a little better in school, but i don’t know), i don’t think it helped me emotionally. now i don’t recall being spanked a lot, but often the parental reaction to my misbehavior was emotional, sometimes an expression of anger. i grew up being often impatient, and often expressing anger in moments of impatience. i think i would have benefitted emotionally from a parent who took a more measured (calm) reaction to misbehavior. hopefully, seeing a calm and measured reaction would have presented a model for my own behavior. fortunately, now in my 50s, i’m generally mellower emotionally and can take things with greater perspective.
so i applaud parents who do not resort to spanking, but take a calm and constructive approach like you present in the interview. while a parent can’t ignore misbehavior, there are better ways to correct a child that don’t involve anger or spanking.
The authorities in our society treat everyone like an idiot. They give out general instructions to EVERYONE, with the main targets being the stupids.
I remember when i had my 1st child the rule was to feed babies table food at 6mos. 10yrs later the rule changed to 8mo. When I asked a woman at the health dept she told me a lot of people were feeding babies too early so they changed the rules. Same thing for removing the bottle at age 1; too many give their babies juice & koolaid so they now tell EVERYONE to get rid of the bottle.
Not everyone is an idiot. We don’t even drink Koolaid! And not everyone “abuse” their children when they spank. I tapped my kids little hands as early as 11-12 mos. by the time they are 3 all I have to do is threaten and they straighten up….except for one who is VERY strong willed and will outright disobey. “no you can not have a cupcake.” And I’ll look up and he’s eating a cupcake. Some kids need more discipline that others. At age 6 he still needs a sw
I totally agree with Insanity Kim. Studies’ results and statistics can be manipulated to support or argue any opinion and only by repeated, blind tests of ethical scientific means can be reliable.
Personally, I can’t believe that spanking does anything but create anger and violence in the spanked children. That is just common sense.
Because of your comments, I was able to write a really awesome article… commentary on the BS of it all. As always thanks. All my readers are extremely bright, it’s a fact. Spanked or not, you guys get a humor/satire that is on a level way above the average bear. Don’t ever forget it.
Just had to chime in one more time. In response to The Retired One, all discipline creates anger. I was just as angry when my Mom “read” me the riot act as I was when I got spanked. No more for spanking, no less for the talk. Sometimes, I wished she would give me a couple of swats and “shut up” already. You know the speech, “I’m working hard every day to do this for you and you blah, blah, blah.” No violence. Did not want to hurt her and anyone else. What spanking did create was a strong desire not to do that again, whatever that was. Served it’s purpose.
Spanking lowers the IQ? I think it is the reverse. Children that are spanked are spanked because they have a lower IQ. They do things that they are not supposed to do and think that their parents won’t notice. But their parents do notice. If the children that are spanked had a higher IQ, they would not get in (spankable) trouble in the first place.
I was spanked, I had no iq issues. Spanking taught me consequences. I was given the rules ahead of time and the consequences for each broken rule. I was taught a strong sense of CHOICE and consequence for choice and as an Adult I feel it did wonders to prepare me for the world.
As to not being able to spank an adult,,,so what. We also are not allowed to confine an adult to a room against their will, its called kidnapping. With children its called being grounded. We are not allowed to discipline adults in any way actually, only the law can and they sometimes beat, imprison or even kill as a consequence for broken laws.
As a child there were laws of the house and consequences for breaking them, just like in society. The more UNDESIRABLE the consequence the less likely the offense, just like in society. Their is a difference between parents with their children and adults with other adults and the difference is WE are responsible for what our kids do and what happens to them and adults are responsible for themself. We are the ‘justice’ system of our home. We need to provide real incentive and reward for good choices and real undesirable consequences for bad ones. As long as their is the balance of both discipline and positive reinforcement,, there is no reason for children not to do just fine.