Tag Archives: 80s

21 Things We Did as Kids in the 70s and 80s That Would Horrify Us Now

21 Things Kids Did in the 70s and 80s That Would Horrify Us Now #humor, funny, gen x, listicle, top 10As a Gen Xer, I so enjoy reminiscing about the freedoms we had growing up in the 70s and 80s. Our parents take on safety and acceptable ways to spend one’s time was different from the get go.  Starting with baby-proofing, which in no way resembled what it is today.

In fact, I recall being given green Mr. Yuk stickers (which were basically like yellow happy face stickers that had just thrown up) to put on anything that was toxic: chemicals, cleaning supplies, etc. I remember showing my mom the stickers we’d been given at preschool and her telling me to “go for it” (yes, I was to baby-proof my own house).

So, I actively searched my house for toxins. I checked cabinets that I’d never even thought to open before, climbed on the sinks to get to all the medicines. It was like anti-baby proofing. I slapped the stickers on all my new found poisons and added one to the vegetable crisper, for good measure. Now, as a parent myself, my own parents like to tell me I’m too overprotective.

“Really?”

“Well, you survived,” they say.

“Yep, but it seems like the odds were against me.”

Here are a few things many of us did growing up that make me wonder how our generation survived …

1. Thinking the middle seat in the front was the best seat because you could get crushed into the dashboard … I mean, because you got to control the five radio stations.

2. Being totally inaccessible — from after school or camp until dinner. Now, we would call that being lost.

3. Having an equal intake of air: 50% oxygen, 50% secondhand smoke. Continue reading

Gen Xers – You Probably Went to Camp If …

You Probably Went to Camp in The 80s If... (Nostalgia, Remember When, Generation X, 1980s, Sleepaway Camp)

Every summer, many of my Gen X cohorts and I, were carted off to sleepaway camps across the country. We packed our trunks, made sure we had as many flip up collar polo style shirts as possible and headed off for 2-8wks of re-wording pop songs, crushing on counselors with British accents, and dressing up as Madonna and Michael Jackson . This summer I’m going to back to camp, with my kids.

Let me restate that so that you can process it… My kids are going to Camp Lenox in Massachusetts and I’m freakin’ following them — because something is so very wrong with me… and so I can write about the camp experience from a mom’s POV (while I slowly go insane).

Sooo, while thinking about how I’ll survive camp the 2nd time around (as an adult who likes morning lattes and pillow top beds with box springs… and roads), I started to reminisce about what it was like the first time around.

Here it is: Hey Gen Xer, you were probably a camper if…

1.  If you can finish most of these songs:  Shave and a haircut… Everywhere we go-oh people wanna know-oh… John Jacob Jingle… Hello Muddah hello…

2.  If you understand the utter and complete joy of receiving a care package. I mean, equal to winning the lottery kinda joy. And hoped for booty like: Easy Cheese, Pop Rocks, Ring Pops, Dweebs (Nerd’s cousins), Whistle Pops, Wax Bottles, Dots… and the motherload – dry packets of Kool Aid, Jello or Fun Dip. Continue reading

Gen X Heartthrob Smackdown Round 1 Recap – Countdown to The Hottest 80s Hunk

This week on my Facebook Page, I’ve been having a Gen X Heartthrob Smackdown (sorry to my male non-gay readers). Anyhoo, I’m doing it because I’m tired of seeing my hub and his friends have all the fun with their NCAA brackets … and also because I’m bored. Continue reading

8 Cutting Edge Gen X Items That Our Kids Would Find Archaic – Remember When?

8 Things That Were Cutting Edge to Gen Xers That our Children Would Totally Laugh At #generationx #humor #nostalgia #rememberwhen #momhumor #atari #80sREMEMBER WHEN? Here are a couple of “modern” Gen X items that our kids would totally make fun of today… (Warning: waxing poetic about these things will only make you feel old, uncool, and out of touch) Continue reading

Gen Xers Knew How to Play Sick But Our Kids Don’t – So Here’s a Guide For Them To Stop Embarrassing Themselves

Children These Days Have No Clue How to Properly Play Sick - I'm AshamedLet’s be honest, we Gen Xers were skilled at playing sick, were we not? Our generation had to work hard for a sick day. Many of our parents worked and would have to take a sick day themselves, and let’s not forget, our parents were raised by hard core parents (our grandparents), who sent them to school no matter what. Hello, their parents were the one’s who walked five miles to get to school, up hill, in snow … so a sniffle or the plague wasn’t gonna cut it.

That’s what we had to contend with. Which is why, we learned early on that we had to be Ferris Bueller convincing or we were going to school (heck on occasion we weren’t convincing enough, even when we actually were sick!).

Yes, we truly perfected an art form and nowadays it seems our kids are merely phoning it in. Complaining about random aches, not committing to their performance, it’s embarrassing! Which is why I give their generation this:

8 Tips To Properly Play Sick – How to gain your parent’s sympathy and maybe even regain their respect: Continue reading

Things Parents Do That Embarrass Us Even Though We’re All Grown Up

sex life mom ecard

At about 13 years old, my mom went from doing everything right to doing everything so very wrong. In fact, everything she did was either “so gay,” “so queer,” or “moooooommmmm, you’re so embarrassing.” (It was the 80s, I’m sure they say different things now.)  Anyway, it didn’t matter if she was singing the wrong words to Billy Jean or she sneezed at too high of a pitch, it was utterly unforgivable. And don’t even get me started on the things she did around my friends. One time, she smacked her lips while eating a bagel and cream cheese at breakfast with my besties after a sleepover!

Do you believe that?

Mortifying!

I’m sure those girls are still talking about her lip smacking to this very day. Frankly, it’s amazing we remained friends after that appalling display. Well, it’s a testament to my friends, that’s for sure.

That phase lasted for about 4 years. (It’s a phase I’m already dreading with my own daughter because well, there is just no winning, for the parent!) That said, my mom and I have managed to be the closest of friends throughout my life, but she’s still my mother, and there are still those moments when she says something that makes me cringe. You know the kind of cringe that makes your whole body pucker? The kind of cringe that makes you wish you could scour what you just heard from your eardrums with a piece of steel wool? That kind of cringe.

YOU PROBABLY LIKE: 20 THINGS WOMEN WOULD DO FOR THEIR BESTIES

Let’s start with when she says the word Continue reading

Why Can’t We Revive That 80s Style Adult Swim?

Gen Xers Remember Adult Swim - we hated it... now we wish they had it!

In the past 30 years, many accepted practices have changed. What people considered normal and safe back then — transporting your newborn in the front-seat, having a latchkey kid at age 6, and letting them explore the woods with no parental guidance — is pretty much grounds for arrest these days. But, in that simpler time they call the ’80s, there were some great ideas that I’m thinkin’ we should totally revive — the way Disney Channel stars have brought back overly-sequined attire, off-the-shoulder shirts, and leopard print day-glow leggings!

Thanks, Shake It Up, I can barely look at my daughter without retinal strain!

 

In honor of the passing of Memorial Day, I’d like to start with re-instituting “adult swim” (not the one on Cartoon network).  No, I’m talking about that 15 minute span when anyone who wasn’t shaving yet, had to evacuate the water and allow the older generation to have a civilized dip? AKA the worst part about going to the pool when you were a kid.

Now, as an adult, I realize Continue reading

April Fools Suckas – I Got You Good

warningsuckersIn honor of April fools I want to say something to you insolent chumps! For years I’ve been writing this blog, biding my time for this very moment: APRIL FOOLS!!!

Yes, all these years you’ve come here looking for my observations on the ironies of life … oh, I’ll give you irony.  I’ve completely duped you into thinking I’m just like you — a parent who can’t remember where I left my keys, nay, my kids … a quasi desperate housewife who may or may not make eyes at the pool guy, who can’t stand the way her husband leaves dishes by the sink, and who has ridiculous conversations with people while their nipples are showing (that happened more than once, hence the plurals). Continue reading

Just Bleep it Out Children – The Things Moms Do For Love – Quick Bytes

These are a Quick Bytes, like a Wordless Wednesday, but with words … and no picture. So really, nothing like that … maybe more like tapas?

JUST BLEEP IT OUT CHILDREN

This was my convo in the car last night and it just reiterates that I’m constantly outsmarted by my children and also that sometimes I’m too lazy/tired/worn-down to care.

8yo Daughter: Mom, can you buy Thrift Shop for your iPhone, it’s the new Gangnam Style.

Me: Is it?

8yo: Well, it is for the older kids. The kids in my class still think Gangnam Style is the new Gangnam Style, but they all have YOUNGER sisters and brothers, so they don’t really know.

Me: Not like you who has an older brother to teach you what’s up?

8yo: Yep. Oh and don’t get the clean version, I’ll just say “bleep” through the f’words. It ruins the song when they just go silent during the bad words don’t you think?

Me: (I actually do) Um, well Continue reading

10 Annoying Moms You NEVER Wanna Get Stuck With

The 6 Moms You NEVER Want To Get Stuck With

At a party last weekend, I got stuck with one of “those moms” You know, the annoying moms you dread seeing at school functions, birthday parties, playdates, or park outings? So, I decided to make a list of the most common types of annoying moms I’ve come across. This way you can avoid them before they trap you!

1. PMS Pam: Talking with this “depress-fest” is more sobering than watching an aged Gary Busey perform live. Her weighty chit chat will include talk of diseases that could strike at any time, children who were poisoned by school lunches, and Botox gone horribly, irreversibly wrong. After a few short minutes, you’ll be sucked into an abyss of worry and despair that will have you questioning your safety, your health, and your marriage.

Rule of Thumb: Never talk to her alone, as it will take another friend to pull you from the pit (hope that friend comes bearing cocktails)!

2.  Know it all Nicole: This mom is like Kris Jenner, but she won’t take your family to Hawaii. She will, however, advise you how to be a better mom and wife, because frankly, who doesn’t like unsolicited advice on parenting and marriage? She’ll tell you whether you should or shouldn’t vaccinate, how to get whites their whitest, and why you can never go to a drive-thru.

Rule of Thumb: If you want her to impart her wisdom elsewhere, bring up a blush-worthy topic like blow jobs. If she doesn’t run for the hills, hear her out — you can never know too much about blow jobs — then bring up vibrators.

3. Donna Droner: Talking to Donna will make you wish you had a cyanide pellet. This chatty chick finds every detail of her stories not only imperative, but scintillating — whether she’s describing how she rescheduled her children’s annual checkups, or rattling off her 39-step trick to get discoloration out of grout. Throughout your pow-wow you’ll feign interest and nod politely, while wondering if plastic party knives are strong enough to perform Hari Kari.

Rule of Thumb: Take a fake call. If you’re not holding your phone, pick up anything, hold it to your ear and answer it.

4. Braggy Beth: This gal will make you question whether your child is stupid, lazy, or socially inept. No matter what your kid’s accomplishments are, Beth’s kids did it better, and did it earlier. “Your daughter doesn’t know her alphabet yet? Have you had that looked into? I mean, I’m sure she’s fine. It’s just that my Lily is just really advanced. She probably learned it in the womb — I mean, we taught her French in the womb. Does yours speak French yet? Sorry, that was insensitive… she barely speaks English.” Listening to her talk will bring out a shameful side of you that wants to give her perfect little angel the finger.

Rule of Thumb: Don’t give her kid the finger… kick her in the shin and run.

5. TMI Tammy: Tammy is like a bad Facebook status in the flesh. She feels that the disgusting details of the ooze in her son’s ear and the consistency of her daughter’s last bowel movement is lunchtime fare. Though you may only know her from “Meet the Teacher Night,” you somehow also know that she has an inverted uterus and hence prefers it doggy style.

Rule of Thumb: TMI Tammy can work in details that would make Eminem blush, so stick to “Hi” and “Bye” and NEVER ask how she’s doing.

6. Judgy Julie: This delightful mom is assessing your every move. On play dates, she’s estimating how many toys you have in your dining room, the sugar content in your pantry, and when you last dusted your blinds. Her goal is simple: find enough evidence to confirm what she suspected all along: She is better than you.

Rule of Thumb: Be careful how much you let Judgy Julie see because she doesn’t keep her verdicts to herself. Yep, the high fructose corn syrup snacks you offered up as team mom could be the talk of the next PTA meeting.

Addendum: 10/1 (I said there would be more and here they are…)

7. Fend For Yourself Fran: This mom sees your child as her respite. Your kid is distracting hers, so that she can get a moment of peace, a glass of wine, a few minutes to read “Mommy Porn.” She’s not concerned with what the kids are doing, as long as they’re doing it quietly… and far away. You may come to her house to find your child, miserable, hungry, bruised, or locked in a bathroom, which she will have no explanation for, as she was unaware your child needed supervision… or a glass of water, or a Bandaid, or some protective gear.

Rule of Thumb: Always have her kid at your house or send yours over to hers with a survival kit.

8. Delusional Denise: DeeDee has no clue what her child is REALLY like. She’s blissfully unaware that her darling offspring, whom you’ve seen suffocate a baby bunny, could do any wrong. If confronted, Denise will emphatically deny that it was her little angel, she’ll explain how it was surely an accident, or she’ll complain that her child always seems to be the scapegoat.

Rule of Thumb: Keep yourself your kids and your pets as far away as possible — Denise’s kids are the ones who grow up to be serial killers.

9. Stalky Samantha: Samantha wants your life. She will sidle her way into plans with you. She’ll make sure her kids get close to your kids, sign them up for the same activities, clubs, teams, and classes. She’ll call other people to determine where you are at any given time. Her covert detective skills include frequent drive-bys, constant contact through scouring pictures and updates on social media, and oddly “running into you” like, everywhere.

Rule of Thumb: Be careful with this one, as we all know how stalker movies turn out… plus you’re probably convinced she has weird super powers like super hearing or ESP. (Well, that’s just silly because she’s actually a vampire.)

10. Me Me Mimi: “Enough about you, more about Mimi,” is her slogan. “What? Your child is allergic to peanuts and went into anaphylactic shock at school?  I totally know what that’s like. That happens to my little Carly with chocolate. I mean, she’s not allergic, but it does a number on her tummy. Last Halloween she had such a bellyache… as you can imagine, it was awful.”

Rule of Thumb: Avoid this time suck at all costs, as even a nod in her direction opens a door for her to tell you more about herself and her family… AND DON’T GET HER STARTED ON HER DELIVERY STORY!

Some days I may or may not fall into one of these categories, though I like to believe those days are few and far between. Which mom makes you want to send smoke signals? And who did I miss (feel free to make up your own)?

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Promos for My New Show are Up!

I thought I’d keep you guys posted as the Jenny Isenman show takes form. Yes, the promos do include dancing and Gen X references…  both of which age the crap outta me.

Please take a sec to share with your friends and like or comment on the video. Frankly, I’m hoping to parlay “likes” into free shoes. Does it not work that way?

*Please note that I did not say Ricky Shroder would beat Rob Lowe  in a hotness contest, that would be a totally amateur statement, I mean, duh, it’s not like we were pitting Leif Garret against Shawn Cassidy or Scott Baio against Kirk Cameron (those would be a toughies).

However, the power of editing is great.  And now you know a fun behind the scenes fact, like on Pop Up Videos.

(If you don’t know what Pop Up Videos is, I must assume you’re young and wrinkleless and I’d be so jealous of your taut skin, well, either that or you’re Amish.)

Actually, the Ricky Shroder comment came from a confession about how I always wanted to take a ride on Ricky’s train and

maybe do a lap or two in his race car bed.   Whoa, that sounded way more risque than I meant it.  When I was wishing to ring Ricky’s bell (train bell, you sick people), I was barely a tween, though “tween” wasn’t a term then, and I was innocently wishing to do nothing more than hold the his hand.

OK, I wouldn’t have minded a little peck.

FINE, I probably would’ve let Ricky feel me up.

Whatever judgy people, he had freakin’ video games in his living room and a phone that looked like a mallard, you would’ve totally let him feel you up too!

 

PS if you missed the first promo, here you go (this is my favorite I think you’ll see why):

And definitely subscribe to the show or send me shoes, but one or the other.

Show set - LOVE!

Thanks for the love and support!!!

xo – Jenny From the Blog