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French moms may say, “Viva la France,” but would we actually want to live in France? French women are notorious for being fit and fabulous regardless of diet and lifestyle. And according to a recent New York Times article, that includes new mothers — but these moms don’t do it on their own.
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Last year's white trash bash
I don’t know if you are aware, but Halloween is my favorite holiday. I got married on Halloween and my rehearsal dinner was a costume ball, well roast. My annual “Adults Only” Halloween party is known far and wide. Relax, it’s not like we film porn or anything… we just strip. Actually we don’t, we revert straight back to college, pull out funnels and other such paraphernalia and make my beautifully themed abode feel more like a frat house. This party has much of my town hunting for the most original most perfect costume. Each couple strives to attain the coveted “Best Costume” award, which comes with a year’s supply of bragging rights. Read on for more pics and info. Continue reading
Yesterday, I met a boy. Not just any boy, ’cause I meet boys all the time. I mean, I don’t want to sound all slutty or anything, but with the “Mommy and Me,” “Kindermusik,” and “Gymborie,” I do meet my fair share of guys. Anywho, READ MORE
Not that long ago, helicopter parenting was all the rage; whether you hovered over your own kids or moaned about others doing so, the tendency definitely garnered some attention. It seems the newest parenting trend to receive national attention is about a lack of attention…“Not now, Mommy’s on the phone.” “In a minute, Mommy’s has to just send this quick email.” “One sec, Mommy’s working.” “Hey kids, how about we watch Big Brother… American Idol…Jersey Shore… insert somewhat inappropriate reality show here_________, together?” . Read the iVillage article here.
Dont’ for get to read yesterday’s epiphany: Ashton Kutcher has dashed all my hopes of becoming a cougar
Oh Ashton, why? You and Demi were the poster children for May-December romances. You and you alone instilled hope in the thirty to fifty something divorcees everywhere! Your relationship with Bruce and the children. The doe eyes you made whenever Demi walked into a room. The matching white linen suits you wore to the Kabbalah center… Your abs. You made us aging women feel young, beautiful, capable of snagging a strapping, hottie that we would have once thought was sure to be uninterested in an older women.
I was so looking forward to my moment with a recent college grad. Wearing his fraternity letters Continue reading
As if helicopter parenting weren’t enough, now we can closely monitor what our kids eat at school. Yup, school districts across the country have signed on to use a new technology, which tracks what a child purchases in the school cafeteria. The Lunch Prepay program allows parents to view their child’s 45-day purchase history 24/7. Read More at iVillage
I don’t really understand what all the hype is about. So, Katy jiggled her milk feeders on Sesame Street? Elmo didn’t seem to mind and I know why.
It’s the most exciting time of a woman’s life and she’s just sick over it. Well, 50% of women are sick over it. Yup, half of pregnant woman report symptoms of morning sickness during early pregnancy — me included — and apparently there is little that can be done about it.
Seriously, either I’m too old or too prudish, but I can’t figure out why women need to do so much vaginal maintenance to get their man’s attention these days. I used to be a vaginal visionary, a pioneer if you will. I was the first on the block to get a Brazilian, a “landing strip,” and the unfortunate “wax-ident” I term, “The Charlie Chaplin.” Well, I don’t have proof that I was the first, but I’m pretty confident. Now, vaginal maintenance has become a truly hair razing experience. Continue reading My 8-year-old is definitely a “mama’s boy,” and it turns out that my extra mothering and snuggling with him may help him later on in life. Read More
Usually, separation anxiety happens when children are in preschool, which means… it’s kinda not mandatory. But, let’s be honest, the socialization is great for our kids, and it’s nice to have time for a shower. It’s such a ridiculous experience if you think about it, you’re torturing your child and yourself and the whole time you’re asking, “For what?” For three hours of freedom, which you’re going to spend worried and upset? When it’s happening, all your parenting instincts are telling you to go in and save your child from this injustice and then finally the teacher pops out and says something like, “It’s okay mom, she’s doing great.” Meanwhile, you hear the dry heaving in the back ground. Continue reading
