The Difference Between Men and Women- Just Ask Your Pimp

The following convo highlights the difference between men and women. 

So, I got this new Jord watch which I’m kind of obsessed because it’s wood and I love wood jewelry and everyone that’s seen it has complimented it and marveled at the fact that it’s wood.

Mark was like, “You realize this is the first time in years when your watch has had the actual time?”

Me: Yeah, it’s weird.

Mark: What’s weird is that you wear watches that don’t work.

Me: They work, they just need batteries or they have to be shaken like once a day – and I find that tedious, plus I use my phone for the time.

Mark: So why do you even wear a watch if it has no function?

Me: It does… A. My wrist would feel funny without one and B. It completes my outfits.

Mark: So you’re not wearing it to perform its intended function, you’re wearing it because it would look funny without it?

Me: Yep, do you really think I enjoy wearing heels everyday and sinking into the playground sand? No, I wear them because I’ve found I look stumpy in flats (cankles) and also towering over people makes me feel superior.

Mark: Well we both no your bras have no real function, but you wear them.

Me: Ha, that was really witty, 12 year old boy.

Mark: Guys just don’t think the same way. There are no men who would wear things that don’t serve a function.

Me: Really, what about pimps?

Mark: I’m sorry? What about pimps?

Me: Well, do you think they wear those furs for warmth? Noooo, they wear them to get respect from their hos.

Mark: Really, is this where we’re going?

Me: Yep, you know what they say… “If you ain’t wearing the right clothes, you get no respect from the ho’s.”

Mark: Who says that?

Me: The pimps.

Mark: I like the plural — It implies you know not only one but a gaggle of pimps?

Me: I saw Car Wash.

Mark: I don’t think they said that.

Me: Well they probably do in their pimp gaggles, which I bet isn’t even the right term for a group of pimps. It’s probably something with a P like a pride or a peck.

Mark: I will never make an observation in passing again.

XO – Jenny From the Blog

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7 thoughts on “The Difference Between Men and Women- Just Ask Your Pimp

  1. Desire

    Loved this post! You crack me up and I’ve blown another snort-snot blast all over my keyboard from reading an awesome blog today!

  2. Beth Ashley

    I am just impressed that you put together “complete outfits.” Unless I purchase everything right off a mannequin, I have no idea what I am doing. But I would agree that my most favorite things are the least functional.

    P.S. I love how you incorporated pimps into your conversation. This is like the trump card to win any argument. Because there are just so many lessons to be learned from the pimps.

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