OK, here goes. I feel like I should take a deep breath and then spew out everything I have to say in one long run-on sentence that would totally impress you if you weren’t reading rather than hearing me do it. Yes, something is lost in the not hearing it part, but just imagine that’s what’s happening so you can be impressed when I’m done ……………………………. (that’s me sucking in air like Ace Ventura – did I lose you on that reference?) …………….. (still going) …………………………………………………………………………………………

My friend, who’s an amazing comedienne starred in, co-wrote (with her hubby who’s a New York Times bestselling author), and directed this insanely brilliant movie called Muffin Top: A Love Story, because frankly, it seems these days (at least in most Hollywood films and major metropolises) it’s hard to find a man — if you’ve got even the slightest bit of fat, double chinnage, cellulite, sag, you aren’t model hot or adorably cute and dimpled, or aren’t thin enough that people question whether you have an eating disorder on a regular basis — ohhhh, and it turns out that not only are the women in the world seeing these films and finding Americans to be insanely shallow, but the Hollywood industry is using less women in front of and behind the scenes then like, ever — as the numbers of women is film has dropped — yep, in only 6% of films do women have an equal speaking voice to men, 4% are directed by women, and 12% include at least one female writer — which totally sucks for us women who are amazingly smart and talented and it totally sucks for our daughters who see these images on screen and not only see how the women in the films look and are portrayed but also realize that there isn’t that much hope for women in film, behind or in front of the camera (PS I went to film school, so it’s especially shocking to me), annnd that’s because most movies these days are made to impress 14 year old boys — which honestly, I could totally do by “Steve O’ing” myself down a hill in a shopping cart, or disguising myself as an old lady and filming precarious situations including ones where my sagging boobs hang past my skirt and I have to ask a stranger to help dislodge my nipple, which I inadvertently closed in my car door or the easy way — with a vintage centerfold of Jenny McCarthy from her original Playboy spread … and we could all call it a day — buuut we can’t, because Hollywood’s shift means chick flicks like the ones the amazing Nora Ephron penned would have trouble getting funding today, so we would miss out on future moments of sheer brilliance, like when Harry says, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” to which Sally says she’s hates him and then they kiss — and that would be kinda tragic — plusss it ultimately means we’ve gone backwards and that’s not supposed to happen (only with wrinkles, well that’s my hope) — annnnd it also means that films like Muffin Top and other romantic comedies made mostly by women for women need to be made and watched and supported and you should watch the trailer below, because the cast is made up of a bunch of incredibly hilarious, award winning actors (who did this for a cause), the movie is hysterical, annnd my friend, Cathyrn is using this film to start a movement in Hollywood  — to have more women working on films and more realistic women in films, and lastly, because women need to watch other women show their muffin tops on film (not in a weird porn fetishy way) but because it’s relatable and sometimes it’s hard to relate to Jessica Alba, even though I spend 80% of my time trying!

OK, now imagine me falling off my soap box, half-passed out on the floor sucking wind, sweating, and exorbitantly pleased with myself for getting that all out. (Though to be honest, I’m actually just rubbing the cramps from my pre-arthritis fingers and massaging an old ice cream scooping job injury that led to carpal tunnel.)

Here’s the trailer (PS My friend is the one showing full frontal muffin top.)

Check out my girl’s movement here: Muffin Top: A Love Story you can read the stats, support the cause, see cast pics, pre-order the DVD (which won’t be sold in stores).

Please take a sec to share this with anyone who loves chick flicks or rom coms, smart women, ambitious women — your muffin top would want you to…