Category Archives: parenting

Parents Peer Pressure

I’m aware that there’s already peer pressure on my children to watch certain movies, rent specific DVDs or play particular video games. Lately, I’ve also allowed them to watch some questionable flicks. After thinking about it, I’ve realized that it’s not my kids who are being pressured into seeing these movies — it’s me.

It started with Transformers, which I saw with two friends and their children. Within the first ten minutes, an obscene amount of people were injured, and words I hoped my son had never heard were spoken in large quantities. I glanced at my friends, expecting to see looks of shock and awe, only to find them calmly munching away on their popcorn and Raisinettes. Read More

Fireworks: Friend or Foe? |Jenny from the Blog

Okay, I may have mentioned I’m a guilt ridden parent once or twice or a thousand times. Well, I also have 4^th of July guilt. Yep, I feel guilty if my kids don’t get to see fireworks on the 4^th of July. Like many parents, I go to great lengths to make sure they get this Independence Day experience; long car rides, busy parking areas, throngs of people smooshing into parks and harbors… you know the drill. Continue reading →

Has Bella Swan Ruined Dating for Our Kids?

Bella Swan Has Ruined Dating for our Daughters

As you may already know, I’m a huge Twilight fan. The truth is, though I’m a mom, I’m as wooed and wowed by Edward and Jacob as the average tween. The one difference? Unlike most giddy tween girls, I actually know that they don’t exist. And when I say “they,” I’m not talking about vampires and werewolves. I’m talking about the existence of guys like Edward and Jacob — guys who are constantly laying down their lives for you and who unselfishly have your best interests at heart. READ MORE

Do You Have Picky Eaters? I Have the Answer

My Kids Will Only Eat Food that Comes From a Children’s Menu –You Too? Here’s Help

(I’m sorry, I don’t have the rights to reprint the article in full and I could use comments to the site where it’s posted. PS they called me “anonymous,” which doesn’t exactly make me happy, but they’re newly revamped and I want this job. Maybe getting readers to the site will parlay into a byline. Who knows? It happens to be a cute piece. ENJOY!) Go there now or read the intro below:

Okay, maybe you have this problem, also. My kids only eat food you’d find on a children’s menu. You know, the usual suspects: grilled cheese, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, mac n cheese, pizza, burgers, buttered noodles, etc. I could list the health content in these meals, but let’s just agree to call it nil. Where did I go wrong? Continue reading →

Do Husbands Take the Backseat in Modern Marriage? | Jenny From the Blog

According to the barrista at my Starbucks, I’m an awesome wife. No, I’m not putting out for lattes like I once threatened to do and I’m certainly not ironing clothes for the lady who swipes my card –or even my husband for that matter. I simply showed up at 7:45 AM to buy my husband his coffee on Father’s Day. The staff at my Starbucks were taking bets on how many of their regular customer’s wives would show up for a Father’s Day coffee run. The results: 2. Yep, 2 wives, myself included. They cheered when I entered, “Jenny, I knew I could count on you,” the manager said. I thought I’d won a prize, maybe a frappe “my way?” It seems I deserved one; when I walked in to get my coffee the next morning they were still talking about it. They were talking about how shocked they were that on Mother’s Day they saw all the dads with the kids, letting moms sleep in and on Father’s Day the husbands still got the coffee. I guess the men are the “weekend coffee getters” in our society. Sure, they used to be hunters and gatherers, protectors, and providers, but now apparently getting coffee is as manly a task as we can bestow on our husbands. Continue reading →

My Most “Crush”ing and Embarrassing Moment | Jenny From the Blog

Didn’t we all have adolescent obsessions that bordered on stalking or was that just me? This story will make your embarrassing moments seem way less embarrassing! It’s that bad, I’ve never spoken of it.

As you may have noticed from some of my posts, I have a flair for the dramatic. I recall an experience of such exaggerated intensity with my first crush. For the sake of the blog and the fact that some of my readers will know him, I’ll call him Eric, Eric Axel. This pseudonym is not exactly cryptic, it‘s about 2 letters off from his actual name. Look, I pursued him like an obsessed stalker I’m sure it’s no surprise to him.

This was old school stalking I’m referring to: no technology, no cell phone, or FB, or twitter, or my space. I’m talking about the kind of stalking that took time and effort and premeditation, something to tell your grandchildren about.

So, I’m gonna rip off the Band-Aid, that is this repressed memory, and let the healing begin. I was in the 7^th grade and I was in love. “Love” love. Continue reading →

Pics from the Book Signing for See Mom Run

I promise next week I’ll go back to writing relatable and hilarious blogs about life as a parent, wife, and woman. I just wanted to share some pics from the book signing for See Mom Run and thank everyone who came out. It was an incredible evening. Special thanks to Chris, Shiela, and the amazing people at aztig urban salon who made the night AMAZING. Also, thanks to Exquisite catering by Robert for providing a lovely table of food and goodies. Continue reading →

Mom’s Night Out to Celebrate See Mom Run with Essays by Jenny From the Blog

Okay, since I never host events, I thought it would be smart to host 2 in one week. My eyes aren’t twitching nearly enough and my back and shoulders need to be tighter and spasmier. See, I can’t even write clearly. (I didn’t even write the invite… props go to Lisa Milberg holla! Continue reading →

Excuse Me Miss Your N}pple is Showing

Wow, if I had a nickel for every time I said that… I’d have a nickel. Like, Katherine Heigl, Tara Reed, and Janet Jackson before her, this woman’s wardrobe malfunction was someone else’s eye candy. Well, in this case I wouldn’t call it eye candy, though I must admit, I stared at her nipple for quite some time. In a train wreck kinda way, while I debated my moral obligation as a fellow female. At first, I thought I should say nothing. She clearly spent serious man hours getting those boobs to bust out of her bra and reveal the tattoo of a phoenix emblazoned across them. But, as I stared at the protruding circumference, I couldn’t help but think, “I hope someone would have the decency to point out my nipple peeking from my bra. Sure, it would be more embarrassing to hear it than to say it. And she would probably dislike me for pointing it out (no one likes the messenger,) but like the girls who go on the Bachelor always say, “I wasn’t there to make friends.” – which is totally true, I rarely seek new companions in line at the register.

After about 10 minutes of internal turmoil, I took a deep breath and whispered the words I hope not to utter often in my life. “Excuse me ma’am, your nipple is showing” Continue reading →

Happy Meals May Start Making Children Sad -I’m Happy About it

Ever feel coerced into buying a Happy Meal so your child can get the toy? Well, Santa Clara County , California is the first to vote in favor of banning toys from children’s meals that don’t meet certain nutritional standards. They’re taking a stand against childhood obesity, and I applaud them for that.

This may sound crazy, but I think banning toys from kids’ meals will not only help obese children, but also help parents like me. I gotta admit, I’m a sucker for kids getting a prize with the meal. Continue reading →

Don’t Ogle the Swim Instructor Unless He Teaches Your Child How to Swim

Read on for a hilarious story about a desperate housewife and $5 off each swim lesson.

For clarification, this is not Mr. Jeff

My five year old little flower, has a tendency to be a bit… Valley Girl. I don’t know if it’s all the Bratz movies influencing her to make phone calls that start with OMG and end with TTYL, but it’s something. I certainly don’t handle calls to my friends that way, though I did tend to write SWAK on the back of every letter I sent from camp. Whatever the cause, the attitude has made giving her any kind of lesson, or even the smallest smidgen of constructive criticism, near impossible.

As she was nearing five, I decided it was time to teach her how to swim. I live in Florida, so this is an endeavor that I started at the Y when she was six months old. At that time, she bawled so hysterically that I decided she didn’t need to be a So. FL. water-baby like my neighbors’ kids, who could swim across the pool to be breast fed. Continue reading →

How to Stop Nagging -Ask Jenny From the Blog

In The Suburban Jungle’s newest segment: Ask Jenny From the Blog, I answer important marriage and parenting questions with honesty, and wit. Please do not hold me responsible for tantrums or divorce.

Recently a friend asked, “How do I stop nagging my husband?” I used the decade of marriage as a basis for my answer and gave it to her straight, “You don’t. You just learn to nag more efficiently.” The definition of nagging is to ask or criticize someone repetitively, to the point of being bothersome. Well, if they learned the first time you said it, you would be a brilliant wife and he would be husband of the year. Let me impart a truth I have discovered after a 10 years of nagging. You have to train a husband, which is not unlike training a puppy. Except that a husband takes much much longer. If you saw my 6 month old puppy actually chewing the wall, this truth could send you running for the hills.

The key is to open the lines of communication and reward rather than reprimand. I know that sounds cheesy and Dr. Philee, but it is something you may not realize until you’ve wasted much time trying to mold your man through bitter seething complaints and snide remarks.

I am still training my husband… everyday. If I had known when I was first married what I know now, I think I would be giving much less correction, and much more Snausages. I remember the conversation that started a new path to less nagging. It was not so long ago. I said, “there has to be some word, some signal that I can give to tell you that I am about to complain and possibly correct something you’ve done. The signal would imply that what I am about to say may be critical and will most definitely annoy the crap out of you. I know that, but I must get it off my chest if I am to remain happy. I need you to hear me without sneering, ignoring, focusing on a mindless commercial or diverting your attention towards the kids.

Seems easy right, asking someone to listen and absorb when alerted to do so? Well, men are stubborn creatures. So, to make it fair, I agreed that the signal could be whatever he chose, as long as he agreed to open his ears and keeps his eyes from rolling. He decided I should say, “I suck and you are awesome.” Please, is that the best you can do? In return for your full attention, I would have said, “I’m a psycho bitching wife who doesn’t deserve such a strapping specimen of a man, while flashing you and doing a jig, but we’ll just go with your suggestion.”

This is your chance to set some ground rules and have some fun while doing it. Pick a signal that is totally disarming and let him know that the only person who hates nagging more than he does is you. Most importantly, when he does a good job, don’t forget the praise… and the Snausages.

Please send questions to [email protected]

Disclaimer- Jenny is not a trained professional! Though you may find her brilliant and insightful, she has been called odd and insane. Please keep that in mind when following any of her advice. Also, no animals were harmed in the writing of this piece (in case you were wondering.)