Tag Archives: father’s day

Happy Fathers Day to my Stubborn Hubby From Your Bitchy Wife

I know, you’re like, bring on the water works. I mean with a title like that there’s bound to be a sentimental, emotionally charged poem to follow, right? Well, you’ll have to see, but (Spoiler Alert), probably not . Not all of us have perfect marriages. Frankly, most of us don’t and I kinda think that’s OK. There’s some value in being a sometimes sucky wife – just ask my hubby…

I’m like many of you – going at the last minute to buy some cheesy cards that cost $5 bucks a pop and do little more than add to deforestation. I avoid the overly-sweet ones with watercolor painting on the front because my marriage isn’t perfect and the sentiments in those cards don’t quite reflect my feelings. So, I go with humor.

In fact, I’ve noticed that my husband and I have this weird tendency to re-buy the same multi-fold-out cards for each other on our respective holidays year after year.

The Father’s day card has a cat couple and it goes something like this: Continue reading →

Beer, Cash, and Mix Tapes? – Best Tips for Father’s Day Gift Giving EVER

How miniatures, cash, beer, and spa products can make the dad in your life giddy on Father’s Day. And who doesn’t like a giddy man?

“It’s a sweater!!!” Yes, that was the infamous (in-famous) exclamation of the great El Guapo. See pic below.

El Guapo's banditos knit him a birthday sweater. See how happy he is? (Three Amigos)

And yes, that was some good acting and yet… it’s the exact response I look for from my hubby on Father’s Day and rarely – ok, never get. I don’t know how to make you men happy. Well, I know, but I don’t want to go there. Please, I’m a nice Jewish girl. I’d never do that kinda stuff… after marriage.

Besides, I prefer the old fashioned way of keeping a spouse happy: Material Goods. Unfortunately, you men don’t seem as wowed by a new pair of stilettos or a spa day as we chicks do and that is why you suck to get gifts for and also why we married you. Oh, the irony.

On the Sunday after next, men all over America will open slender boxes and say, “It’s a tie” yawn.

Why?

Because we don’t know what the hell else to get you.

And we like very much that you’re currently employed. Also, Because you never tell us what you want. So, I, Jenny from the Blog, Lifestyle Expert extraordinaire, have compiled a list of the best gifts for the guy that doesn’t need, want, or ask for anything.

Was $88 Now $49

1. The wallet full of stuff. Oh, I truly looooove this one. Take a look at your guys money holder, if it’s falling apart or has Velcro located anywhere on it, it’s time for a new one. The best part isn’t the wallet, it’s the thought you put into it. You need to go to Starbucks, Blockbuster, and Sports Authority or a rounder at your supermarket and pick up gift cards from some of your man’s or your Dad’s favorite places. The denominations can be small (you will have to get the cards in store if less than $20), but it’s worth the smile on his face. Oh, and don’t forget to put in pics of the kids or yourself if you are “the kid.” PS – Cole Hahn outlets are the best. They are an average of 30%-60% off all the time and they smell like Italy (or at least how I imagine Italy would smell.)

2. Lot’s of guys like beer, name one who wouldn’t like their own tap? See, you can’t can you? The Krupps BeerTender fits on your counter and keeps your beverage at optimal serving temperature.

$80 with a 20% off coupon from BB and Beyond

It features a temperature indicator, signaling when the beer reaches its optimal 37.4° F serving temperature and lasts up to 30 days. Plus you can remove the tap so the kids can’t access the beverages. Like the key the liquor cabinet.

If you don’t get a coupon from BB&B like every other day, sign up for their mail online and you will soon receive one.

If you want to make it super thoughtful, get frosty mugs from your hubbies favorite team at Bed Bath and Beyond or if you’re willing to get a dozen you can have his initials or name laser engraved into a mug at DiscountMugs.com for an amazing price.

3. The Mix Tape for the Millenium. Remember how much you loved getting a mix tape from your high school beau? You know, a little Journey, maybe a Chicago tune or two? Well, now you can give that dope gift to the man you love. Pick him up an MP3 (I recommend an iTouch) and fill it with songs for him. Your song plus anything else that feels right and don’t forget to put on a few from the kiddies. I’m thinking Yeti Stomp by the Backyardigans and let’s not forget C is for Cookie from the Monster himself or if your kids are like mine maybe some Zepplin, Who, and of course Ke$ha for my 6yo.

If your man has an MP3 steal it and add a few and then surprise him with a pair of high tech headphones.

$14 - $20 at Best Buy, depending on sale.

$95 from $179 at Best Buy

4. Everything’s better in mini size, well not everything, but miniatures do make things cuter (get your brain out of the gutter and think Tea Cup poodles). Get the dad in your life a Dopp kit, which is a small toiletry bag that’s used for storing men’s grooming tools for travel. Then get a bunch of mini’s to fill it with, think: comb, brush, deodorant, shaving cream, shampoo, conditioner, scissors, toothbrush, toothpaste, cologne, men’s eye cream, moisturizer and of course a razor and extra blades. It’s a gift every guy LOVVVVVVES.

Great Buy Cabela's leather Dopp Kit on sale for $29

5. It’s Tee Time baby. Give the golfer the newest gadgets. If you don’t know what’s big now, I’ll lay it out for you… I mean fore you.

Taylormade R11 Driver

$399 not crazy for a driver.

Taylormade R11 Driver – This could be the biggest golf product launch of the year. It’s a Golf Digest Hot List Gold Metal Winner, and was selected as Editors Choice for drivers for 2011.

Only R11 can be adjusted in 48 combinations of:

Loft

Increase or decrease launch angle to get more distance

Face Angle: Select and open, closed, or neutral address setting for more distance
Flight Path: Promote A Fade
– Heavier weight in toe, lighter weight in heel for more distance; Promote A Draw
– Lighter weight in toe, heavier weight in heel for more distance; In other words, if you’re confused, go with this club!

$200 with mail in rebate

Garmin Approach® S1, a GPS wristwatch for golf courses with no annual fee.

Preloaded with over 13,000 courses (and counting), US and Canada
Includes par & distance to front, middle, & back of each green (accounting for dog leg distances)
Measures last shot distance
Odometer provides distance walked on or off the course
Watch mode features GPS time & date, alarm and automatic time zone detection
Easy to use interface featuring automatic hole transitioning
Waterproof design with high sensitivity GPS
Rechargeable lithium-ion battery – 3 week watch mode / 8 hour GPS mode

Check Golf Galaxy for online coupons.

Well, there you go no need to buy a tie this year unless it’s this one:

"it's a tie"

Did I mention I like irony?

Do Husbands Take the Backseat in Modern Marriage? | Jenny From the Blog

According to the barrista at my Starbucks, I’m an awesome wife. No, I’m not putting out for lattes like I once threatened to do and I’m certainly not ironing clothes for the lady who swipes my card –or even my husband for that matter. I simply showed up at 7:45 AM to buy my husband his coffee on Father’s Day. The staff at my Starbucks were taking bets on how many of their regular customer’s wives would show up for a Father’s Day coffee run. The results: 2. Yep, 2 wives, myself included. They cheered when I entered, “Jenny, I knew I could count on you,” the manager said. I thought I’d won a prize, maybe a frappe “my way?” It seems I deserved one; when I walked in to get my coffee the next morning they were still talking about it. They were talking about how shocked they were that on Mother’s Day they saw all the dads with the kids, letting moms sleep in and on Father’s Day the husbands still got the coffee. I guess the men are the “weekend coffee getters” in our society. Sure, they used to be hunters and gatherers, protectors, and providers, but now apparently getting coffee is as manly a task as we can bestow on our husbands. Continue reading →

Father’s Day Greetings

Being that I am a writer, you would probably assume I give my husband a beautiful heartfelt card on every holiday. The truth is, I am like most of you, going at the last minute to look at slim pickins and buy some cheesy cards that cost $3 bucks a pop and do little more than add to deforestation.

First of all, unless your husband likes fishing or fixing things you’re SOL from the get go. The funny cards are too queer, though the Far Side always gives me a giggle, I try to find something with a little more sentiment. I have noticed that my husband and I have this weird tendency to rebuy the same card for each other on our respective holidays year after year.

The Father’s day card has a cat couple and it goes something like this:

“Sometimes I’m stubborn when I don’t get my way,

Sometimes I’m bossy and have too much to say.

Blah blah blah, buuuuut I really love you! Have a great Father’s day.”

That’s the general gist anyway. It’s basically an apology for being a sucky annoying wife 364 days a year. The card might as well say:

“Sometimes I’m a big fat wench, when you look at me the wrong way.

Other times I’m a bratty bitch, when I don’t like what you say.

Often I’m an evil nag, I’m so frustrated I could spit.

I don’t listen when you speak because I’m daydreaming of Brad Pitt.

I pretty much act like I hate you almost every day of the year,

Buuut I really totally Love You, though I rarely make it clear.”

The mother’s day version is similar, two cats start out fighting and the guy cat’s like, “I’m sorry I’m so stubborn, but we always find our way.” Then the cats are driving and he’s lost and he won’t ask for directions and she’s looking back at the kitties shrugging her shoulders.

Then they are watching a sports game and the mom cat is running in circles around the house with the kitties, and the dad cat is ignoring her and he’s all, “Sometimes I get wrapped up in other things, but I always spend the commercials with you guys.”

Then the dad cat is looking at the price tag of a really expensive pair of Jimmy Choo’s that the mom cat is at the register paying for, because she feels she’s earned them. The dad cat hisses, “We don’t always see eye to eye, but we always compensate.” In the next picture he is cutting up her credit card and throwing the pieces in the air like confetti.

Then the mom cat is taking the kitties to live with some calico she met in the alley. The dad cat shows his claws, but since he is domesticated and therefore declawed he just feels like a pussy (cat I mean).

Then the dad cat is paying off some thug mafia cat and says, “We always work it out, ‘cause making up is the best part!”

Or something like that. Mother’s day was a few months ago so I may have embellished the finer details, but you get the picture. It’s an apology for being a crappy, inattentive, stubborn, annoying husband, buuut it’s okay cause we get to make up after I have your calico trash cat castrated.

So this year, I picked up one of those cards and was about to buy it. Then I thought, I don’t need to apologize for arguing or nagging, that’s what couples do... even one’s who are in love. Yes, my husband is stubborn and I am a nag, but we love each other. I don’t want to make light of my annoying ways through a rhyming apology that is only cute because of cat personification. We’ve been married a decade, he knows I am a bitch and he is thankful I’m cute.

So, I got a card that was perfect. Yes, it had cats. It said, that he’s the one I go to if I need a hug, or a sympathetic ear, or a pep talk, or to kill a bug, or to move something heavy. Basically, he’s there when I need him.

Does he do things that are annoying? Daily. Frustrating? Hourly. Does he snore and fart in his sleep? Yep. Does he leave crumbs on the counter and forget to change lightbulbs? Uh ha. Is he a fabulous dad? Absolutely.

Is he there for me when I need him? Always.

That might not have been a quality I dreamed my husband would have on my wedding day, but a decade in, it’s the one I am most thankful for.

So to my husband, I hope you enjoyed your day. I love you! To all the other Dad’s, mine especially, I hope you had a fabulous Father’s day and that there are spouses and children out there that appreciate all you do.

PS vlog 2 is up if you are interested Conversations With Your Selfish Friend. If you watch the vlogs, please take the poll and if you like them, please send to friends!

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