Tag Archives: cafemom

Why Am I Dumber After Having Children | Momnesia on the Jenny Isenman Show (Video)

Can someone explain why I still have “baby brain” when my kids aren’t babies anymore?

So, my Gen X-ers, many of us are years past changing diapers and yet we still seem to have Momnesia. Frankly, my memory … and ability to have a complete thought, has gotten exponentially worse with the birth of each child and the passage of each year.

Look, I can tell you the names of all the characters from The Facts of Life, or The Breakfast Club, but I have no idea where I left my keys, what pending appointments I have, or why I just walked into this room?!

On this week’s episode of The Jenny Isenman Show, my guest Sharon Rowley, (organizational expert/blogger and mom of 6 — freakin’ 6!), and I test our memories, discuss the stupidest shit we’ve done due to Momnesia, and talk tips to get through the day. Continue reading →

Is Playing Online Games with the Opposite Sex Flirting?

Until recently I would have answered that question, “No way, playing games against anyone, men included, is innocent fun.” But now I’m not so sure. What happened? The other day, after scoring 72 points with Q-A-T-S (yes, it’s a word) while playing Words With Friends, I got a chat IM asking me to text a sexy picture of myself. WHAT?

Look, I haven’t been hit on in quite some time, but that’s flirting, right? Horrible, letchy, uninvited flirting. Couldn’t he have gone with “Nice word”? Seriously, I have a rule that word games should never make you feel like you need a shower.

Here’s the thing: many of us enjoy playing games on our smartphones and tablets. Okay, many of us are addicted to these games. We’re playing them with more than a handful of friends, as well as random Facebook connections we couldn’t pick out of a lineup. So, where’s the harm? They’re just games, right?

Or are they?

One time, after beating an old high school acquaintance at Scramble With Friends …

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The Premier of the Jenny Isenman Show YAY! (VIDEO)

As many of you know, I’ve been working on a new show for CafeMom!!! I am beyond excited (hence, 3 exclamation marks).

That said, below is the video and the top 10 reasons to watch this week’s PREMIER episode of THE JENNY ISENMAN SHOW, The Drinking Show, where we talk juicing, juice fasts, energy drinks, smoothies, and teas that are touted as “the next best thing,” but are they?


Top 10 reasons you should watch:

10. In 7 minutes we cover:

  • Why juice fast actually make you gain more weight.
  • Why you don’t have to down those 8 glasses anymore.
  • A good reason to justify your coffee addiction.
  • Why the blender you already own is better than the pricey juicer you want to buy.

9. My guests, Lyssie and Tammy Lakatos ( The Nutrition Twins ) are incredibly knowledgeable, but little and cute, like action figures … really smart action figures.

8.  I reference old school Gen X faves, like Mad Dog 20/20, Boone’s and Peach Shnapp’s … don’t pretend like you never sipped them from a paper bag!

7. I have a hot barista, whose sole job is to whisper “Mommy Porn” inspired sweet nothings like: “Tonight I’ll do the dishes and fold all the laundry!”

6.  You truly love and enjoy me and you want to support me!

5. You’ve been waiting for this show to come out as you only have a 7 minute attention span.

4. I embarrassingly, call one of my guests the wrong name, but to be fair, she called me Bill moments earlier, which was edited out, so I say we’re even.

3.  Your cat will like you more if you watch.

2. We go way back and you know I will make you feel insanely guilty if you don’t watch (or at the very least pretend to watch) and respond.

1. Did I mention the barista is shirtless?

Thanks for watching!

PS – If you learned anything at all, please share, and like, and comment, and pass it on! If you learned nothing at all, please pretend you did! Then share, and like, and pass it on (you should probably skip the comment part).

Here are a few behind the scenes extras:

  • The barista who makes a shirtless appearance was inspired by a Ryan Gosling meme I created in my spare time.  I know, what’s that, right? What spare time?
  • My favorite makeup tip is a highlighter at the top of your cheekbones it makes them really pop! I use Moonbeam by Benefit at Sephora. Put it right below your brow-line to make your brow pop!
  • I really wanted to ask if there is a drink for better more frequent sex that would stop me from crying “headache” 3 times a week. Though, I think I could take a guess: Vodka, the answer is vodka.
  • Yes, I called one of the twins the wrong name! In my defense, moments before she called me Frank (that incident was edited out), but I think that makes us totally even.
  • I DID drink MadDog 20/20 and Cisco, and Boone’s Strawberry Hill and Peach Schnapps and often straight from the bottle. If you’re 35 or older, you know you did too, so don’t try to deny it!

Thanks for you support!!!

XO,

Jenny From the Blog

Twilight Obsession or Mid-Life Crisis?

I was at my neighbor’s house the other day and her nine year old daughter sat down at the table with me. “Soooo, who’s your favorite character?” she asked, in the way one would while sharing tea and crumpets. I was not having tea, however, I was having coffee, one of the few things that still separates me from nine year olds. Well, most of them anyway.

My favorite character of what? Disney movies? Are we talkin’ Hannah Montana, or like Monsters vs. Aliens?

“No, my mom said you love Twilight, and OMG, me too! I am so in love with Jacob. How about you?” she squeaked eagerly, awaiting my answer.

Okay, as most of you know, I have a very unhealthy obsession with the Twilight series and the main character, Edward. I also believe, after giving the subject way too much thought, that this is either a sign of total immaturity or a mid-life crisis. So, either I’m mentally stuck in high school, or wishing I was.

“Are we having this conversation? Aren’t you nine?” Hello, clearly the fact that you love Jacob is a sign of your immaturity. “Everyone knows Edward is like the ultimate hottie,” I continued, drawing a line in the sand between me and the child that stood before me, who was excitedly bouncing to hear my answer.

“Yeah, he’s cute but I like werewolves better than vampires,” she replied, shrugging off my belligerent tone.

“What?! You’d rather date a werewolf than a vampire?” I argued.  Jenny, don’t get yourself all worked up. What does she know anyway, she’s nine? While talking myself down, I noticed her Jonas Brothers concert tee. I realized that we may have the same taste in literature, and as it appears, nail polish, but I was the adult.

In fact, one of my readers had just sent me a very racy version of what supposedly happened on Edward and Bella’s honeymoon. A night that the author skimmed over to keep the books appropriate for her teen audience. Of course, in my suburb where the kids rule, “teen” means nine.

I reminded myself that I had a nugget of Twilight information that she would not be able to read for at least 2 years… at the rate she was going. I told her when her mom said it was okay, she could see my special chapter. You might be thinking that I got great joy in dangling that carrot, but nay I say. It was when I gave her a raspberry that I got the most joy.

She ran to her room and returned with a picture, the fold out kind that you pull from Tiger Beat Magazine, or One Day I Will Be a Know-It-All Magazine or whatever the teenie boppers are reading these days. You know, the ones that show young girls who are famous and rich, and handsome boys that are out of reach, and in turn, set their readers up for future disappointment and body dysmorphia.

She handed it to me, and I opened it up to find a picture of Robert Pattinson, the actor that plays Edward Cullin, who is also 13 years my junior. Don’t think it’s odd that I know that. I’m no stalker, but I do admittedly frequent the website: RobPatzStalkers.com

I think her poster was a peace offering, and in hindsight, a very mature response to my childish behavior. I looked at her, and then the picture. Then as I went to leave, I said, “By the way, the Jonas Brothers Suck! Yeah, they’re for babies and you love them.”

So who’s the most mature one in the room now?

 

PS- don’t forget to take today’s poll, and as always, make sure you have my RSS, or email subscription!