Tag Archives: the suburban jungle

Things That Make You Go HMMM | Jenny From the Blog

Okay, so this is one of those things that makes me go hmmm?  It also makes me seek first aid.

falling off bikeDear  Inconsiderate Woman Who Woos my Dog,

I need to express a grievance, but I’m having trouble putting it into words, mainly because we don’t speak the same language. Could you please refrain from making kissy noises when I am riding my bike with my dog in tow.   The last couple times I have taken my dog for a bike ride you have been in the garage next door, cleaning.  Though I have not assessed their garage, I don’t recall it being so dirty, but I digress.

You seem to find my dog attractive, and have a habit of calling him in a lip smacking “come ‘ere boy” kind of chant.  Has it not dawned on you that I am on my bike and attached to my dog by a leash when you trying to woo him to you? Continue reading →

Women Need to Exercise 1 Hour Per Day to Maintain

-Like us moms don’t already have enough to do.

iStock_000009004459XSmallA study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association claims that women will gain weight with age unless they lower their caloric intake or get in a hefty 6o MINUTES of exercise EACH DAY!  Are they serious? Workout 60 minutes to maintain?  Let’s talk about the word maintain, because they’re certainly not talking about sanity maybe they’re talking about resentment.  I will definitely maintain resentment toward these researchers for publishing this horrifying news.

The truth is, I know few moms who can get in a daily shower, let alone the current 30 minutes of suggested workout time; now they’ve decided to double it?  That’s it, I’m boycotting.  Oh yeah, I’ll show them, I’m gonna halt activity all together.  Yep, I’ll lead a completely sedentary life; only frequenting places that have valet and those electric carts inside, to ride on.   Continue reading →

Dreaded Parenting Explanation: Because I Said So That’s Why

because I said so, that's why

 

As a child, I too encountered the dreaded “Because I Said So.”  It was usually yelled in frustration or hissed between clenched teeth.  No matter what the method of delivery, it signified the end of the discussion.  I remember wondering, what exactly does that mean and why is that a remotely valid argument?  It was a parental trap; there was no way to fight it, and yet you felt unsatisfied in conceding.

 

Now, at 30 somethingish I know what it means.  It means you’re losing the battle with a child.  Yep, “Because I Said So” is the phrase used when you are being outsmarted or out-debated by an 8-year -old.  The truth is, sometimes their reasoning makes sense … a lot of sense.  Sometimes, I listen and think, okay, let’s do it your way.  But most of the time there’s a reason I’ve made a particular choice and I have to stick by it, well that or I’m just another stubborn adult standing on ceremony.

 

I never imagined that I would be losing arguments to 8-year-olds or even 5-year-olds, for that matter.  “They’re smart little buggers, aren’t they? Want proof? I recently partook in this exchange: Continue reading →